Unaccountably optomistic today

I got a good night sleep last night, and woke feeling unaccountably optomistic.  Maybe it is just because it is a new year and the last year is over. Good Lord, I needed that year to be older. It's just psychological, after all, the changing of the calendar to a new year. But then, my problems are mostly psychological, aren't they? I am determined that this year will be different. I am determined that I will a) find a job that will pay enough to support me; b) get my finances together to the point that I no longer need to deal with the state social workers, who seem determined to get me off the roles, anyway; c) work with my counselor (should that be possible) to learn how to express my anger without internalizing it or freaking out. I am a good, hard working, decent person that has lost my stride. I can sit there and blame other people for loosing it, because they made me stumble, but ultimately, I lost  my stride because I keep allowing other people to steal my wind. I've been doing that all my life - first with my mother, than with my husband, then with anyone else I've dealt with on an interpersonal level. I need interpersonal relationships, and avoid them because I'm afraid of that happening again. Thus, I have no friends and little chance of making any. Why bring a "friend" into this misery, anyway?  No, No, I will not start being negative again, but I really have to fix this or it'll just continue.