uncle........

so i spent the ast 3 days in missouri b/c my oldest brother graduated and his college is in missouri.....my uncle who makes me uncomfrotable was there.....things were okay and everything was good.....pictures of me and a little touching, something i cna handle....as the days were going by i thought that i was just over-reacting and stuff....that all of this was for affection whatever.....i felt al ittle uncomfortable, but disregarded it all saying it wasn't a big deal....i wonder if i was trying to surpress it and psuh it away or what.....anyway we had to take a bus from st. louis to springfield illinois to get to the train to take us to dwight illinois....welllllll my uncle sat next to me on this bus....and our legs touched and i scrunched my body up so i wouldn't touch him....and then we talked for a little while....and then we got to the station and he touched me and i was exhausted by holding in all these emotions that i had and all these tears that i had been holding back for the past few days etc. etc.....then we got on the train and i fell off the train ans scraped up my leg pretty badly.....i was crying and walked over to my mom and felt this pair of hands on my back.....it was him....i was in such pain that i didn't do anything......then we were leaving and he hugged me real tight and kinda swayed with me saying,"it was really nice adn great to see you valerie..." i just said,"yes you too..." **sigh** i wanna push it away, but i know i hafta deal with it......it's never easy to do that....