Ultrasound #1--Quite disappointing
So we had our first ultrasound. There are two, but one is so much smaller that the doctor doesn't think it will make it. The larger one still isn't big enough to detect a flutter for a heartbeat, plus it's high up in the uterus, making it more difficult to see clearly if there was a flutter. So we have to go back next week and try again.
DH is dealing in his own way I suppose, but this morning I felt like he was about as unsympathetic as possible when we got into the car and I broke down. I'm half grieving for the loss of one of them most likely, and I'm half freaking out that we may realize they are both gone next week. He's very matter of fact about things, and as he said "we just don't know yet, and it's another week. It's not the end of the world." Now I realize he is totally right, but at the same time, besides the emotional difficulties, I don't sleep well anymore because I'm uncomfortable all the time lying down (still retaining A LOT of fluid from treatment), I'm up at least three times a night to go to the bathroom, I'm still on a lot of meds, and I'm extremely tired all the time. I don't think he gives me enough credit for what my body is going through either.
I am not giving up hope yet, and miracles do happen, so maybe the smaller one will make progress and hang in there for Wednesday. I'm just hoping the larger one continues to grow and will show a strong heartbeat next week.... I am definitely feeling tested though!
Regardless, God is great and I remaim optimistic.
DH is dealing in his own way I suppose, but this morning I felt like he was about as unsympathetic as possible when we got into the car and I broke down. I'm half grieving for the loss of one of them most likely, and I'm half freaking out that we may realize they are both gone next week. He's very matter of fact about things, and as he said "we just don't know yet, and it's another week. It's not the end of the world." Now I realize he is totally right, but at the same time, besides the emotional difficulties, I don't sleep well anymore because I'm uncomfortable all the time lying down (still retaining A LOT of fluid from treatment), I'm up at least three times a night to go to the bathroom, I'm still on a lot of meds, and I'm extremely tired all the time. I don't think he gives me enough credit for what my body is going through either.
I am not giving up hope yet, and miracles do happen, so maybe the smaller one will make progress and hang in there for Wednesday. I'm just hoping the larger one continues to grow and will show a strong heartbeat next week.... I am definitely feeling tested though!
Regardless, God is great and I remaim optimistic.
Replies
I\'ve been waiting to hear from you -- I am sorry your news wasn\'t what you were hoping for. But your husband is right, you don\'t know anything yet -- so as hard as it is to not worry -- there\'s no need to worry yet. Try to be positive. I remember my doctor saying that he wasn\'t expecting to see the heartbeat at the first appointment, sometimes it takes a little longer to show up. Men definitely deal with all of this differently and I think its good that he\'s being strong and trying to stay positive for you, even though I\'m sure you secretly want him to act the same way you feel. One partner has to stay level headed, for us its my DH too. Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers that your babies continue to grow this week so that you can see their little heartbeats!
A week can make a world of difference in an ultrasound. Both may catch up -- the smaller one might have implanted later.
sending you a big virtual hug
Sometimes things don\'t happen when we want them to or how we expect them to. Try to stay positive, next week may tell an entirely different and wonderful story! Many prayers to you and your DH for strength and peace of mind. God is good, don\'t ever forget that!
my sister has twins. when she was pregnant one had what the doctor\'s called \"growth retardation\" which made everyone worry. we were worried something would be physically or mentally wrong with my nephew. come to find out he was just not as progressing as fast as his brother. they turned out fine and are now running around me right in front of me as i type, they just turned 4 and are perfectly happy and healthy! hold on to hope, miracles happen everyday! you\'ll be in my thoughts!!
Hi there, I happened to see your post on the main page, and i don\'t want to be a bother, but I need to tell you my experience. I found out i was pregnant with twins at 8 weeks. At 9.5 weeks, we found out we lost one. No heartbeat from the one (and both heartbeats were visable just a week prior). Very devestating. It was tough dealing with the excitement of thinking we were having twins, and then to be dealt that blow only a week later. Please know that is you do lose one, please talk to someone (priest, friends, etc.) because keeping the emotions of losing a child and the fear of losing your other one bottled up, will only cause you stress and heartache. And although our angel flew to heaven, its sister is still growing strong! I am 25 weeks pregnant with our baby girl! Please don\'t lose faith that you still may have a chance, and if the Lord calls your baby home, please take comfort in knowing that there was a reason for it, and don\'t forget about your survivor.
I am here if you would like to talk more! God Bless and Many Prayers!
With my first u/s we had 3 sacs, 2 babies, 2 hb\'s but one of the babies with a hb was very low. They made me wait a week which was pure torture b/c we had no idea what we would see when we went back. Would we have triplets? Twins? at least ONE baby? I was a mess. I am now looking at my 13wk old Twins :). Dont lose hope yet! A week can make such a difference!
hold onto your sanity...a week really does change EVERYTHING and you could feasibly have TWO healthy babies with strong little fluttering hearts! Try to distract yourself as you can and hold onto the hope you still have!
It is incredible what your body is doing. You have been so positive so continue down that road. It will work out for you and you know that god is on your side.I will send positive emotional vibes for the next week and hope your little one grows and your larger one flutters.
I\'m sorry to hear that your ultrasound was disappointing, I understand how scared you must be feeling. There is still hope there but I realise it must be difficult to see that. I pray that all works out next week and that you can find peace in the wait. Sending big hugs your way.