uh oh

Well, I've been awake 41 hours now. I stopped taking all meds 24 hours ago. I know I'm going to crash and I hope I only just go to sleep when it happens. I've been going to a new doctor for my meds and everything is out of sync. She doubled my antidepressant, halved my mood stabilizer, and added an anti-anxiety and sleeping medication. I'm jumpier than normal, I'm easily aggitated, paranoid and hallucinating. Guess what. I think I need a stabilizing visit to the hospital. but I'm not going to get it. My eyes hurt and feel like they're coated with sand paper. My whole body hurts. My mind races and I think of everything that is going wrong right now when I try to lay down. The house is a mess, I was looking for  something and can't find it. Now I don't remember  what I was even looking for.