UGH!...still struggling

yep....I'm still struggling ....been going to church and meetings but I just can't get into any of it without wandering off into lala land...I am trying ....I stopped my meds last weekend...and then took them sporadically this week...now...I am trying to get things done but with a headache that just wont go away...so I guess I am gonna go check my blood pressure....I really don't feel well but I got to do what I got to do...got to force myself...go through the motions...pretend....to be okay....TRY TO BE OKAY at least!!!!

BP Chk: 155/101! ...no wonder I have a headache...I just can't get this damn BP under control...

So I am in recovery right? ...so lets see...lets work on this recovery thingy....I went to two meetings this week...and both of them were on Lesson 4- SANITY...am I struggling with this lesson - yep...its part of step 3 which I clearly haven't completed although I am working through Step IV - Inventory...

Well I guess I'll work this lesson ---