uggg

Its dec 3rd.   3 years ago my broth Gary died of pancreatic cancer.  Today is his Birthday. He woulda been 55.  As i wrote this the visuals of all that wasnt there but that dread feeling was.  So much dread.   
   Now its time to pay the rent.  I dont have the money.  I have to ask my sister for a loan which is the last thing i want to do. This summer i claimed bankruptcy and succumed to letting the bank take my house.  Im waiting for unemployment to kick in and now i think theres a problem with how they are gonna pay...i picked direct deposit but now my bank cancelled my account so now what? I try to call unemployment but i cant even get through.  I tried to go back online and fix it but i think i started a new claim instead so i really dont know whats going on now.  The worst of this whole thing is that i rent from my brother.  If im late with the rent he is screwed...along with his wife and 4 kids.   Now that really makes me feel like a piece of shit.   If unemployment can just start coming things will be ok.   I just gotta get thru this winter and my job will be full time starting in spring.  I swear...i will never ever get in this position again.  The days when i hate my job and feel like quitting...ill remember this feeling.....id rather work 24 hours aday than feel like this piece of crap.
 
      Im trying to find at least a part time job,  its tough..especially with a shit education like i have.   I left an email to my sister saying i need to borrow money.  Of course i wait till the last minute and cowardly ask in an email.    So here i am waiting for her reply...if she says no.....then i have no idea whats next.    Oh how it used to feel when there was thousands in the bank.   Now i dont even have an account.   God...i asked for your help regarding this...i will not take it back as promised....but can ya please speed it up a bit???

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

So sorry to hear about your brother....I am also sorry to hear about the things you are going through due to unemployment....Hopefully it will come through soon...Don\'t forget you do have friends here anytime you need to talk....OK
deleted_user
deleted_user

My thoughts and prayers are with you bud. Been down the unemployment road and know the desperation. Hang in there. Write back, I\'m listening.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Stay strong n keep holding on k? It\'s just a phase of your life which you must pass through. You\'ll get by n come out of it all by God\'s grace.