TWW update
Good morning ladies, hope eveyone had a great weekend. With a busy weekend and the change in time, I'm so exhausted so I'm enjoying my one cup of coffee that I'm allowed per day during my TWW, savoring every bit.
This TWW is definitely hard but I'm trucking through as best as I can. I did a lot of reading on one 5 day blast transfer success stories to keep me positive thinking and made sure my weekend was busy so I don't obsess every second about if I'm pregnant or not. This is the FIRST time I have ever been PUPO so I'm excited about that, I'm just praying that this perfect little guy sticks! As for symptoms, I did get some bloating and cramping this weekend, not sure if this is something to worry about or be postiive about since I read about "implantation cramping" but of course I was a little more worried than not. Has anyone had cramping after the transfer and ended up preggo? It's not painful period cramping, just cramping, kinda hard to explain.
I went to my sis in law's bday party yesterday and there were people there I didn't know, one lady, which is her neighbor, asked me if I had kids and I said no but we are trying. Then she looks at me and it seemed like she wasn't sure if she should ask me but she said "you are the one going through IVF right".....I obviously knew that she was going to ask that by the look on her face and I just said yes. She then said she's praying for us and hopes it works out and didn't touch on anymore of it. Obviously it doesn't bother me that she told her neighbor/frend about if because that's just what people do sometimes, but it just makes me feel weird when a stranger asks me about it. A part of me is angry but another part of me just knows that people have no clue and don't understand unless they have gone through IF. I just wish that people would keep it to themselves. It makes me feel like "the freak" who can't get pregnant and like people pity me and I hate it.
I've been so up and down this weekend, hopeful one minute, certain I'm pregnant the next, then doom gloom after....then It's never gonna work...I'm all over the place. I do know that I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing everything I possibly can and that's really all I can do. Also Marcus and I have never gotten this far before, so that should count for something,right?
I miss working out so bad, I feel like I'm getting flabby and I feel gross. But I'm hoping that not working out this time will help me get pregnant as well. UGhhhh....I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum because I just want to know now!
I had an epiphany the other day that Marcus and I are exactly where we need to be in life, literally everything happened the way it was supposed to, to moving back from California, me working at my company, Marcus in school, buying the house, it's almost too perfect if you really think about how it all came to be, who I have met along the way, the lady here at work that referred me to my RE....it just makes so much sense. That gave me hope that everything will be okay and I never felt more sure. I just hope I continue to stay positive in this.
Thanks for those who read, I know it's just a bunch of ranting!
KJ
This TWW is definitely hard but I'm trucking through as best as I can. I did a lot of reading on one 5 day blast transfer success stories to keep me positive thinking and made sure my weekend was busy so I don't obsess every second about if I'm pregnant or not. This is the FIRST time I have ever been PUPO so I'm excited about that, I'm just praying that this perfect little guy sticks! As for symptoms, I did get some bloating and cramping this weekend, not sure if this is something to worry about or be postiive about since I read about "implantation cramping" but of course I was a little more worried than not. Has anyone had cramping after the transfer and ended up preggo? It's not painful period cramping, just cramping, kinda hard to explain.
I went to my sis in law's bday party yesterday and there were people there I didn't know, one lady, which is her neighbor, asked me if I had kids and I said no but we are trying. Then she looks at me and it seemed like she wasn't sure if she should ask me but she said "you are the one going through IVF right".....I obviously knew that she was going to ask that by the look on her face and I just said yes. She then said she's praying for us and hopes it works out and didn't touch on anymore of it. Obviously it doesn't bother me that she told her neighbor/frend about if because that's just what people do sometimes, but it just makes me feel weird when a stranger asks me about it. A part of me is angry but another part of me just knows that people have no clue and don't understand unless they have gone through IF. I just wish that people would keep it to themselves. It makes me feel like "the freak" who can't get pregnant and like people pity me and I hate it.
I've been so up and down this weekend, hopeful one minute, certain I'm pregnant the next, then doom gloom after....then It's never gonna work...I'm all over the place. I do know that I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing everything I possibly can and that's really all I can do. Also Marcus and I have never gotten this far before, so that should count for something,right?
I miss working out so bad, I feel like I'm getting flabby and I feel gross. But I'm hoping that not working out this time will help me get pregnant as well. UGhhhh....I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum because I just want to know now!
I had an epiphany the other day that Marcus and I are exactly where we need to be in life, literally everything happened the way it was supposed to, to moving back from California, me working at my company, Marcus in school, buying the house, it's almost too perfect if you really think about how it all came to be, who I have met along the way, the lady here at work that referred me to my RE....it just makes so much sense. That gave me hope that everything will be okay and I never felt more sure. I just hope I continue to stay positive in this.
Thanks for those who read, I know it's just a bunch of ranting!
KJ
Replies
For my first IVF, I was worried about who knew and what they knew, having friends and family swear they wouldn\'t tell anyone. It kind of drove me crazy. This time, I feel like I\'ve been tell more people. I almost feel like it\'s an education to some people and it feels good to let them know the process. I also feel like the more people praying for you can\'t hurt either. The only drawback about tell so many people is that they want to know if it worked of not....hopefully they will be smart enough to stay away until I tell them on my terms.
I feel the exact same about working out. I feel so gross - but it\'s for the baby, right?! :)
Try to keep up your positive thinking!! Praying for you.
I had that same thing happen to me this weekend! I was at a bridal shower and the groom\'s aunt whom i\'ve only met once found out I was preggo with twins, and she straight up asked if they were due to IVF. I was like \"nothing like getting to the point!\" The reason she thought to ask though is because she\'s addicted to all the reality tv that has the families of multiples where most were achieved through IF treatments. As I mentioned in a previous journal of mine though, I welcome people asking about it, and I can generally get a feel for if someone is just being nosy to gossip, or if they are actually interested in what i\'m saying. I\'m proud of my IVF, and I feel my IF has become a part of me. Besides, if people know all I went through to get my kids, the world knows how hard I tried for them, vs the people who just BOOM wind up knocked up. I feel like my kids are more special lol
This is going to work for you!
I am glad you are not letting your 2ww get you down or kick you in the bum! You sounds really positive, so keep it up!!! When you are feeling could completely be implantation cramping. I also had a lot of twinges and weird feelings that I think was my ovaries shrinking back into place. Fingers crossed this is it for you!!!
The implantation I felt, I described as pinching because I couldn\'t find another way to describe it. I know we read into EVERYTHING but try not to think much of it- good or bad. I had a lot of feelings all three times. 2 BFP (1 ended with MC) and 1 BFN. So you never know which way it will go, which is super frustrating of course! Thinking about you and glad you were busy all weekend to keep your mind off of it!
The up and down roller coaster is all too familiar and completely normal, hang in there. Praying you get great news soon!
I just have to tell you that i was in TERRIBLE pain for most of my TWW..i thought there is NO way I could possibly be pregnant because the cramps were so bad.. i was on the phone almost everyday with my clinic because i was seriously hurting...much to my surprise the nurse called me with my beta results and said I was pregnant so dont lose hope because u r having some cramping because i thought for sure there was no way i was pregnant..i just waited for AF to come but she never did and now we are 38 weeks along!!!
That was pretty ballzy of the neighbor to say that too you so bluntly, but I\'m glad at least she was kind. I love your epiphany- what a wonderful realization to have! I\'m feeling hopeful that your symptoms are all a good sign. Thinking about you hun :)
I am sorry that women blindsides you like that and asked about IVF! Some people are so tacky, even if she did know she should have figured out that it is not something you talk about at a b-day party! 2WW\'s can drive you nuts, I so hear you on the wishing you could work out, I am working out double time trying to lose the 7 flipping lbs I gained during my 2WW! Hang in there hon, hoping for a BFP!! XO
Thinking of you in your TWW. I was pretty much bat shit crazy during mine. I was sure it didn\'t work but I was insanely suprised when it did. Hang in there friend. XO
Yes I did have some cramping and bloatedness with our fresh cycle IVF. YES it did take and our little darling miracle is now two years old (and is currently putting hot wheels and green Army men in my dishwasher) :0) Be very encouraged friend! *HUG!!
I think a lot of the cramping and bloat for the IVF can also be carry over from the actual egg retrieval. I felt a bit bruised inside and my recovery from that overlapped with the actual transfer. That was my personal experience but I have heard descriptions very similar to mine from other woman on here so Im assuming its a common thing perhaps in the achy body department.
Good for you for reading about all the success stories that align with what you are currently going through. I do the same thing. I LOVE hearing about all the successes too. Its uplifting and gives hope. IVF certainly does place our feelings and emotions on a giant roller coaster for sure. I always have to remind myself that some of it is me and some of it is the crazy fertility meds messing with my mind.
Nosey inquiring know-it-all people will always be a part of this life If they arent sticking their nose in your biz about your baby journey it would be about something else trust me. I absolutely love the approach that Nellysgirl has taken with her special baby journey and I am taking notes:0) For our first IVF I kept is VERY quiet. Besides my husband, and two close girlfriends those were the only people in the know and in the loop with our IVF process from day one. I dont even think I did a journaling play by play on HERE in DS world that time around now that I think of it My choice did protect me from irritating people but it also kind of just pushed the ignorant comments to a later date because we didnt hide the fact that we did IVF and so I still had to put up with clueless people even if it was at a later time. So you never really do escape the special people I do my best to inform and educate them those if I have the opportunity. Because girl, we really do work HARD for those IVF blessings when they come into our lives! (Sorry for the book I just wrote!) *HUG!!! I am cheering you on friend!!