two worlds

Nov 18 2008 I feel lost and care lessno one needs to care about me  Death is sweetly calling my name as if he longs for my body I listen to his callno one tells me I shouldn’t go to him I sit in my room crying for not knowing abusing myself for my lack of knowledge  my mind is longing for this sharp lust that I long to hold yet I know I cant  I try to fight the pain that rushes through me I can notit consumes me and I go to it  sitting even closer to death than I was he seduces me to his lairto the river that is filled with souls trapped in hell they scream my name as if I was a goddess they were longing for or a life that was willing to go to his call pain has led me here, I thought silently as we arrived to his castle made of bones and the smell of death he sat on his throne waiting , waitingfor something  I look at him as he did me  he spoke for the first time,"will you be my queen of the dead for I know you longed for it so ?" I said nothing  I felt my sprit rise and leave quickly form his castle I saw the sun which was now dark I saw the birds which now look like flying bonesI saw peoples sprits that longed for deathI was alive or was I  I could see and feel and breath but I wasn’t able to be happy or live in joy or love so why live ? I was nothing that I was before I was of death and lifeas I am today cursed between two worlds