Two weeks
Today makes two weeks since I love my baby. that's it. 14 days. it's feels like a million years, and it feels like 5 seconds. Maybe that's why I am struggling - because I feel like it's been longer, so I feel like I should be better by now. It's only been two weeks. There are moments that literally take my breath away. where I think "oh my gosh. I was pregnant and now I am not"
DH and I are trying to plan a weekend away, for right after my birthday. I'll be 37 on 11/20 and I have no interest at all in celebrating. I always have loved my birthday. All birthdays, actually - I love to celebrate life. but not this year. I do not want to celebrate turning another year older, another year without a baby, and this year with the loss of one. I just can't. so away we'll go, even though we can't afford it and will have to charge it. I just don't care. we need it and we deserve it.
DH and I are trying to plan a weekend away, for right after my birthday. I'll be 37 on 11/20 and I have no interest at all in celebrating. I always have loved my birthday. All birthdays, actually - I love to celebrate life. but not this year. I do not want to celebrate turning another year older, another year without a baby, and this year with the loss of one. I just can't. so away we'll go, even though we can't afford it and will have to charge it. I just don't care. we need it and we deserve it.
Replies
It is totally normal, unfortunately. I was a total zombie for about a month. Anything and everything would make me cry. There are still a few things that can set me off but it is more likely to put me in a really bad mood. You will start to feel better but don\'t put a timer on yourself. I didn\'t know if I would ever feel better but it will happen slowly. HUGS!
Two weeks is nothing! I was saying the same thing the other day, it\'s only been 3 weeks for me and yet I feel like I should be doing better. But this is all still so new and so raw for us. Please don\'t make yourself feel worse by putting expectations on yourself (I am learning this now too). I understand exactly how you feel about your birthday and I\'m sorry you feel that way. I celebrated by birthday last month while I was pregnant, and I fear I will always think of that birthday and never want to celebrate it again. We went away a few weeks ago for the weekend, we can\'t really afford it either, but we said the same thing, we need it and deserve it and who cares about money when all I can think of is my loss. Do something nice for yourself today. I\'m here for you and sending tons of hugs.
There is no time limit on grieving, although I know we wish there was! That way would could say \"I\'ll feel better by such and such a date\", but thats not reality so take your time, be easy on yourself and allow yourself to heal. You will come out of this dark time, you will never forget but you will laugh again, you will smile again and you will have joy again. Even if you can\'t see it now or believe it, just hang in there hun.
Sending lots of love and hugs to you
Charge that trip! And maybe charge a new red birthday dress for that trip! Get away - it will do you and DH good! Until then - one day at a time. Just focus on today.
Sending so much love your way.
xoxo
You absolutely deserve that trip. I\'m so sorry you\'re hurting. I\'m thinking about you!