Two Tree Christmas OR Karma Christmas
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2254804061668&set=a.2254803541655.95142.1595323218&type=1&theater
This is the inlaws tree. Total cost $20 for tree and ornaments.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2254808741785&set=a.2254803541655.95142.1595323218&type=1&theater
This is OUR tree. Total cost? .50.. Yup Fifty cents.
I call it Karma Christmas simply because even though my MIL has all these wonderful "friends" and clients..not one of them thought about getting her a tree or giving her ornaments that they no longer use, much less bringing it to her. My best friend got me the tree, and a nice lady met me literally around the corner from the hotel and gave me ornaments and garland.
MIL's brother came to visit today. Needless to say the MIL and FIL did nothing but talk pure shit about my husband to him. Got him all ruffled and he come down to our room to talk to us, only to find out that everything he had been told was total bullshit. FIL is all real buddy buddy to my hubby's face (FIL is hubby's real dad, rescued by US from cracktown, he called us crying that he was gonna die if he didn't get out of there, so we went and "rescued" and we were instrumental in him getting back with hubby's mom) when hubby has something he wants or he wants him to do something for him. But the second that he don't need him or hubby don't have something he wants, then he talks all kind of shit about him behind his back, especially to hubby's mom, and she goes right along with it. For example..the table in our hotel room was a busted up piece of junk when we came here, matter of fact hubby had shown FIL what a piece it was then. Well...I go over to their room, MIL asks me about our computer..I tell her I haven't had a chance to hook our computer up to our son's monitor yet, simply because it's a pain, and son really don't like having to give up like almost the only thing he's got left to entertain himself since the fire, and not to mention that we really need to get maintenance to replace the table cause the leg done fell off again. Suddenly FIL chimes in with some real BS.."IF he'd keep his feet off of it, it wouldn't be breaking." I proceed to tell him that the table in question is NOT the small table he is thinking of, but the big table that the computer sits on. He proceeds to say "Well he tears up or destroys everything, I'm sorry you can't accept that." And again acts like I am talking about the small coffee table. I AGAIN have to inform him that the table in question IS NOT the one he is thinking, and that if he would remember, the one I AM talking about he had already been shown what a piece it was the day we moved in. MIL proceeds to say that if when we get back into the house, if hubby breaks anything in there, that she'll have him arrested and put out. Not surprising despite the fact that he is her ONLY child, and that she had him arrested the evening of his grandmother's funeral, simply because he had had something to drink. Our neighbor had heard about her passing (and btw our neighbor absolutely despises hubby's mom and dad with a passion, he thinks they are twisted, sick, and hateful people for the way they treat the hubby and me.) and knew how close hubby was to his grandma, so he made a few too many toasts to her memory with hubby. Hubby walked back over to the house and MIL smelled it and immediately jumped on him, cussing him, smacking him, and just down right being hatefully abusive to him, telling him his grandmother would be ashamed of him, anything she could to hurt him. I swear it's like this woman thrives off chaos she lives for it and gets her rocks off from it. I seriously think this woman has mental issues. I have NEVER seen anyone who had only one child in their lives treat their ONLY child the way she treats him. To hell with the way she talks to or treats me..I'm a DIL..it's to be expected...but not her only child, the ONLY offspring she will EVER have..period.
Anyways..it has been 6+ years since hubby has broken ANYTHING. But yet..from the day I met him he has been blamed for car breakdowns, furniture falling apart (from age)..basically anything that breaks, stops or falls apart, somehow, is his fault. It's David's fault..he looked at it, he breathed on it, he walked past it, kinda shit. I asked her. "well wasn't having your son locked up once enough for you? You gotta have more?" and proceeded to tell the FIL that he was dumb as dirt, because, he is. He is two faced and selfish. He wants my hubby to do for him, but don't want to have to do the same for us/hubby.
My in-laws make me physically sick. I want so badly to blow up on them, and give them a piece of my mind. But I know that it would do no good. There is no cure for stupidity or selfishness. All his life hubby has been made to feel like a "problem", his dad decided instead of stepping up to the plate and being a father, despite the fact that he and hubby's mom broke up, he would rather run the roads being a drunk and a junkie, doing any drug he could and beating up his prostitute drug addicted girlfriends, showing up fucked up to visit my hubby as a child. His mom made him to feel that all her relationships went south, not because she could'nt get along with her partner's or because they cheated, but because he was the monkey wrench in her life. Always being told that he tore up everything he got (what boy growing up ISN'T hard on toys and clothes????) and saying things like "I should have pinched your head off when you were born." What the hell kind of mom tells her child that. As frustrated as I get with my two sometimes..I would NEVER EVER EVER tell them something that heartless and soulless. I just cannot understand or fathom these two. It's like the FIL starts shit talking about my hubby and the MIL jumps right in with her worthless two cents worth, and it becomes a back and forth between the two, talking pure shit about him.
And I feel so bad for the hubby. He says he doesn't care, and that it doesn't bother him anymore and that I shouldn't let it bother me either. But I just can't believe him. If that were the case, he wouldn't have been in such shock tonight when his uncle told him that his father had talked to him and said such awful things about him. Not to mention he gave hubby's uncle $10 (not a christmas "present" mind you) but yet we get told they are so broke, get told they are no longer smoking and don't have a smoke to give a soul, yet go in there an hour later to find them lighting up with a whole pack +. We haven't used an actual washing machine in almost a week now. I've been having to wash our clothes in the tub, and jack the heater up in the bathroom and try to hang our stuff in there to dry. But they are so broke, but yet can go 2-3 times a week to wash their stuff and my daughter's stuff (BUT NOT MY SON'S!) and don't even THINK to ask if we might possibly need to wash something either.
I swear the longer we stay here, the more I get to thinking that they are just as bad as my mom and her family, just in a different way. Abuse is abuse, no matter how it is done. Making someone feel unwanted, and unloved, and like they are less than is just as bad as ignoring the fact that a family member is molesting your child. You are still scarring that person, you are still making them feel unloved and making them feel like a burden to the family and the world.
I try so hard not to hate people, I try so hard not to dwell on the negatives simply because living that way poisons you, makes you sick, and I don't want to be that way. But it is so hard when you have to face it every day you wake up. And I am the only one in his corner, the only one who will speak out. He won't (until it gets so bad he just pops) say anything, because he would rather suffer with it than say something that might keep us from being able to eat (if we happen to run out of food stamps trying to make sure ALL, and I mean ALL MIL and FIL too, of us have food) or be able to borrow a couple of dollars for meds if one of us happens to get sick and not have the $3 to get a scrip filled. Sad, but, yes, these are the kinds of folks that would watch their son go hungry or stay sick to teach him a "lesson" (in other words, take the abuse dished out to you.)
These people make me sick to my stomach. I don't wish actual death on the FIL...but if he were to disappear one day, never to be heard from again, it would not darken my day one little bitty bit. The MIL was not as bad before the FIL came into the picture. But even she makes me sick to be around. My daughter had come down and told me that MIL wanted to talk to me. I go down and she is on the phone to someone (client,friend..dont know). She asks me where hubby is...I proceed to tell her that he is in bed, curled up hurting really bad. She tells me I ought to go back and hit him in the head! I'm all like..whaaa? She then asks me if he's had any luck (sarcastically mind you) with his "applications" finding any work....(she knows that he had surgery a year ago on his neck and has not been the same since, severe chronic pain everyday since then)...I just shook my head and said "Ya know what..enjoy your conversation, I will talk to you later." And walked out. She acts like because his shit isn't visible (like my HS is) that there is nothing wrong with him, that he's just lazy and don't want to do shit, and is a piece of shit. Hubby was hurting real badly one day and I asked her for a couple of pain pills until I could get mine filled the 25, and that I would be happy to give them back to her then (btw mine are 10mg and her's are 5mg, but I was willing to sacrifice to try to get hubby some relief) I get told that she can't..FIL won't LET her..(but yet all this time she's telling us she can't take them that they make her sick as a dog and make her break out in hives, so she can't take them) SO I talk to FIL and he proceed to tell me that she don't have any...(they always use the other one as their excuse for not being able to do something or be able to help) I bring up the discrepancies in their stories and keep getting fed lines of bullshit...so I tell FIL that the next time he is crying about his back hurting (he had some bone spurs ground down off his wittle spine back when he was younger, unlike me and hubby who had to have shit welded and discs scraped out and removed and steel rods put into my back) that NEITHER of them need to look to me to help him, that if they were going to sit there and let their own son suffer, then I"d let FIL sit there and suffer too. Their behavior is appalling. I hate that right now we are stuck on such a limited budget, I can't work due to HS, hubby can't work due to being in so much pain all the time from his neck surgery, and the money we get barely covers what expenses we have, and our food stamps we use to try to keep us all in food. But despite all we do, or all we try to do for the family as a whole, it is never good enough. We could shit gold bricks a mile high and a mile wide...and they wouldn't be wide enough or high enough, or shiny enough. I wish to God one of us could get our disability so we could move out of this hell. Right now, we're stuck.
And I don't believe for one second that we are going to get much of our stuff replaced from the house fire..Hell so far I have only gotten two outfits (which she wanted me to have so I could go to HER job and help HER with HER clients) and hubby has gotten two pair of jeans and a pair of shoes. All that after agreeing to MIL's demands that if we let all of our clothes at the fire house go, we would get all new clothes. But yet we see her ordering outfit after outfit from QVC and HSN, FIL with pair after pair of new jeans, new shoes, new guitar, new coat, dozens of new shirts. MIL had ordered new bra's and pants for my daughter...everything new my son has gotten has been from donations of school mates. It's pretty fucking pathetic.
I try so damn hard not to let this junk bother me. But it's like ignoring a big pink pachyderm in the middle of your hotel room, it's just not possible. Their favoritism towards my daughter, the way they treat my hubby, and the constant lie after lie after lie....I pray I can keep my sanity, keep my temper, keep my mouth shut until we can find a way out of this hell of an extended family. Had I known moving in with the MIL to help out with the ailing grandmother would have led us to this, I would have told her absolutely not, that I would be willing to come over and watch her during her working times, but would not have moved in. Had I know the FIL would turn out to be such a worthless heel, I would have made hubby leave him in cracktown to his fate, not talk him into "saving" his dad so that he could spend time with him before something happened to where he couldn't or wouldn't have that chance anymore. I hate to say it (but although I say it..I't won't change who I am, I will still be a kind person, and will always do for others no matter what.) but it is almost like my kindness and caring fuck me over everytime. That because I did not choose to be like so many others, selfish, self serving, caring only for what I can get from others or for what they can do for me, that I set myself up for all the shit I have to endure from other people. I ask sometimes why this stuff has to be like this, and then I remember what my great grandmother once told me..."Those why try to do good, those who try to go out of their way to be kind and caring to others, those are the ones that the Devil will try the most." And no matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how mad I have gotten, I have never believed it was God's fault, or blamed him, or cursed his name, or renounced him. And I never will. It is during those times that I call out to him, either asking for him to help...or sometimes just simply WHY.
This is the inlaws tree. Total cost $20 for tree and ornaments.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2254808741785&set=a.2254803541655.95142.1595323218&type=1&theater
This is OUR tree. Total cost? .50.. Yup Fifty cents.
I call it Karma Christmas simply because even though my MIL has all these wonderful "friends" and clients..not one of them thought about getting her a tree or giving her ornaments that they no longer use, much less bringing it to her. My best friend got me the tree, and a nice lady met me literally around the corner from the hotel and gave me ornaments and garland.
MIL's brother came to visit today. Needless to say the MIL and FIL did nothing but talk pure shit about my husband to him. Got him all ruffled and he come down to our room to talk to us, only to find out that everything he had been told was total bullshit. FIL is all real buddy buddy to my hubby's face (FIL is hubby's real dad, rescued by US from cracktown, he called us crying that he was gonna die if he didn't get out of there, so we went and "rescued" and we were instrumental in him getting back with hubby's mom) when hubby has something he wants or he wants him to do something for him. But the second that he don't need him or hubby don't have something he wants, then he talks all kind of shit about him behind his back, especially to hubby's mom, and she goes right along with it. For example..the table in our hotel room was a busted up piece of junk when we came here, matter of fact hubby had shown FIL what a piece it was then. Well...I go over to their room, MIL asks me about our computer..I tell her I haven't had a chance to hook our computer up to our son's monitor yet, simply because it's a pain, and son really don't like having to give up like almost the only thing he's got left to entertain himself since the fire, and not to mention that we really need to get maintenance to replace the table cause the leg done fell off again. Suddenly FIL chimes in with some real BS.."IF he'd keep his feet off of it, it wouldn't be breaking." I proceed to tell him that the table in question is NOT the small table he is thinking of, but the big table that the computer sits on. He proceeds to say "Well he tears up or destroys everything, I'm sorry you can't accept that." And again acts like I am talking about the small coffee table. I AGAIN have to inform him that the table in question IS NOT the one he is thinking, and that if he would remember, the one I AM talking about he had already been shown what a piece it was the day we moved in. MIL proceeds to say that if when we get back into the house, if hubby breaks anything in there, that she'll have him arrested and put out. Not surprising despite the fact that he is her ONLY child, and that she had him arrested the evening of his grandmother's funeral, simply because he had had something to drink. Our neighbor had heard about her passing (and btw our neighbor absolutely despises hubby's mom and dad with a passion, he thinks they are twisted, sick, and hateful people for the way they treat the hubby and me.) and knew how close hubby was to his grandma, so he made a few too many toasts to her memory with hubby. Hubby walked back over to the house and MIL smelled it and immediately jumped on him, cussing him, smacking him, and just down right being hatefully abusive to him, telling him his grandmother would be ashamed of him, anything she could to hurt him. I swear it's like this woman thrives off chaos she lives for it and gets her rocks off from it. I seriously think this woman has mental issues. I have NEVER seen anyone who had only one child in their lives treat their ONLY child the way she treats him. To hell with the way she talks to or treats me..I'm a DIL..it's to be expected...but not her only child, the ONLY offspring she will EVER have..period.
Anyways..it has been 6+ years since hubby has broken ANYTHING. But yet..from the day I met him he has been blamed for car breakdowns, furniture falling apart (from age)..basically anything that breaks, stops or falls apart, somehow, is his fault. It's David's fault..he looked at it, he breathed on it, he walked past it, kinda shit. I asked her. "well wasn't having your son locked up once enough for you? You gotta have more?" and proceeded to tell the FIL that he was dumb as dirt, because, he is. He is two faced and selfish. He wants my hubby to do for him, but don't want to have to do the same for us/hubby.
My in-laws make me physically sick. I want so badly to blow up on them, and give them a piece of my mind. But I know that it would do no good. There is no cure for stupidity or selfishness. All his life hubby has been made to feel like a "problem", his dad decided instead of stepping up to the plate and being a father, despite the fact that he and hubby's mom broke up, he would rather run the roads being a drunk and a junkie, doing any drug he could and beating up his prostitute drug addicted girlfriends, showing up fucked up to visit my hubby as a child. His mom made him to feel that all her relationships went south, not because she could'nt get along with her partner's or because they cheated, but because he was the monkey wrench in her life. Always being told that he tore up everything he got (what boy growing up ISN'T hard on toys and clothes????) and saying things like "I should have pinched your head off when you were born." What the hell kind of mom tells her child that. As frustrated as I get with my two sometimes..I would NEVER EVER EVER tell them something that heartless and soulless. I just cannot understand or fathom these two. It's like the FIL starts shit talking about my hubby and the MIL jumps right in with her worthless two cents worth, and it becomes a back and forth between the two, talking pure shit about him.
And I feel so bad for the hubby. He says he doesn't care, and that it doesn't bother him anymore and that I shouldn't let it bother me either. But I just can't believe him. If that were the case, he wouldn't have been in such shock tonight when his uncle told him that his father had talked to him and said such awful things about him. Not to mention he gave hubby's uncle $10 (not a christmas "present" mind you) but yet we get told they are so broke, get told they are no longer smoking and don't have a smoke to give a soul, yet go in there an hour later to find them lighting up with a whole pack +. We haven't used an actual washing machine in almost a week now. I've been having to wash our clothes in the tub, and jack the heater up in the bathroom and try to hang our stuff in there to dry. But they are so broke, but yet can go 2-3 times a week to wash their stuff and my daughter's stuff (BUT NOT MY SON'S!) and don't even THINK to ask if we might possibly need to wash something either.
I swear the longer we stay here, the more I get to thinking that they are just as bad as my mom and her family, just in a different way. Abuse is abuse, no matter how it is done. Making someone feel unwanted, and unloved, and like they are less than is just as bad as ignoring the fact that a family member is molesting your child. You are still scarring that person, you are still making them feel unloved and making them feel like a burden to the family and the world.
I try so hard not to hate people, I try so hard not to dwell on the negatives simply because living that way poisons you, makes you sick, and I don't want to be that way. But it is so hard when you have to face it every day you wake up. And I am the only one in his corner, the only one who will speak out. He won't (until it gets so bad he just pops) say anything, because he would rather suffer with it than say something that might keep us from being able to eat (if we happen to run out of food stamps trying to make sure ALL, and I mean ALL MIL and FIL too, of us have food) or be able to borrow a couple of dollars for meds if one of us happens to get sick and not have the $3 to get a scrip filled. Sad, but, yes, these are the kinds of folks that would watch their son go hungry or stay sick to teach him a "lesson" (in other words, take the abuse dished out to you.)
These people make me sick to my stomach. I don't wish actual death on the FIL...but if he were to disappear one day, never to be heard from again, it would not darken my day one little bitty bit. The MIL was not as bad before the FIL came into the picture. But even she makes me sick to be around. My daughter had come down and told me that MIL wanted to talk to me. I go down and she is on the phone to someone (client,friend..dont know). She asks me where hubby is...I proceed to tell her that he is in bed, curled up hurting really bad. She tells me I ought to go back and hit him in the head! I'm all like..whaaa? She then asks me if he's had any luck (sarcastically mind you) with his "applications" finding any work....(she knows that he had surgery a year ago on his neck and has not been the same since, severe chronic pain everyday since then)...I just shook my head and said "Ya know what..enjoy your conversation, I will talk to you later." And walked out. She acts like because his shit isn't visible (like my HS is) that there is nothing wrong with him, that he's just lazy and don't want to do shit, and is a piece of shit. Hubby was hurting real badly one day and I asked her for a couple of pain pills until I could get mine filled the 25, and that I would be happy to give them back to her then (btw mine are 10mg and her's are 5mg, but I was willing to sacrifice to try to get hubby some relief) I get told that she can't..FIL won't LET her..(but yet all this time she's telling us she can't take them that they make her sick as a dog and make her break out in hives, so she can't take them) SO I talk to FIL and he proceed to tell me that she don't have any...(they always use the other one as their excuse for not being able to do something or be able to help) I bring up the discrepancies in their stories and keep getting fed lines of bullshit...so I tell FIL that the next time he is crying about his back hurting (he had some bone spurs ground down off his wittle spine back when he was younger, unlike me and hubby who had to have shit welded and discs scraped out and removed and steel rods put into my back) that NEITHER of them need to look to me to help him, that if they were going to sit there and let their own son suffer, then I"d let FIL sit there and suffer too. Their behavior is appalling. I hate that right now we are stuck on such a limited budget, I can't work due to HS, hubby can't work due to being in so much pain all the time from his neck surgery, and the money we get barely covers what expenses we have, and our food stamps we use to try to keep us all in food. But despite all we do, or all we try to do for the family as a whole, it is never good enough. We could shit gold bricks a mile high and a mile wide...and they wouldn't be wide enough or high enough, or shiny enough. I wish to God one of us could get our disability so we could move out of this hell. Right now, we're stuck.
And I don't believe for one second that we are going to get much of our stuff replaced from the house fire..Hell so far I have only gotten two outfits (which she wanted me to have so I could go to HER job and help HER with HER clients) and hubby has gotten two pair of jeans and a pair of shoes. All that after agreeing to MIL's demands that if we let all of our clothes at the fire house go, we would get all new clothes. But yet we see her ordering outfit after outfit from QVC and HSN, FIL with pair after pair of new jeans, new shoes, new guitar, new coat, dozens of new shirts. MIL had ordered new bra's and pants for my daughter...everything new my son has gotten has been from donations of school mates. It's pretty fucking pathetic.
I try so damn hard not to let this junk bother me. But it's like ignoring a big pink pachyderm in the middle of your hotel room, it's just not possible. Their favoritism towards my daughter, the way they treat my hubby, and the constant lie after lie after lie....I pray I can keep my sanity, keep my temper, keep my mouth shut until we can find a way out of this hell of an extended family. Had I known moving in with the MIL to help out with the ailing grandmother would have led us to this, I would have told her absolutely not, that I would be willing to come over and watch her during her working times, but would not have moved in. Had I know the FIL would turn out to be such a worthless heel, I would have made hubby leave him in cracktown to his fate, not talk him into "saving" his dad so that he could spend time with him before something happened to where he couldn't or wouldn't have that chance anymore. I hate to say it (but although I say it..I't won't change who I am, I will still be a kind person, and will always do for others no matter what.) but it is almost like my kindness and caring fuck me over everytime. That because I did not choose to be like so many others, selfish, self serving, caring only for what I can get from others or for what they can do for me, that I set myself up for all the shit I have to endure from other people. I ask sometimes why this stuff has to be like this, and then I remember what my great grandmother once told me..."Those why try to do good, those who try to go out of their way to be kind and caring to others, those are the ones that the Devil will try the most." And no matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how mad I have gotten, I have never believed it was God's fault, or blamed him, or cursed his name, or renounced him. And I never will. It is during those times that I call out to him, either asking for him to help...or sometimes just simply WHY.
Replies
Wish you did not have to live with these people. Any way out?