two nights in a row

He's slipping back into the not coming home mode.  Because the curfew is 1AM, he chooses not to come home because he knows he'll be locked out.  I did text him last night, however, and he did say that he was going to be a little late.  Little?
Although he's defiant in this area - things are much different than they were when he was using before.  To me - it's obvious that his usage and level of addiction hasn't escalated to the point he's out of control.  And because that is so it's hard to do the tough love thing because he's pretty manageable - especially since my husband thinks that it isn't necessary, I am just taking one day at a time.  As our counselor friend said - there's no right or wrong answer.  
On the upside - we won our soccer game last night!  It was so much fun because we beat our rivalry in the last 15 seconds!  And we won the entire division last session - taking home t-shirts as the prize.  LOL   I don't know what I'd do without this game.  Soon outdoor will be starting - so I'll be back to playing 2 or 3 days a week!  
Update:  Decided to let the curfew thing go but I'm not going to tell him that right now, I just won't bring it up.  It's been our bone of contention and it isn't worth the arguing. We actually got into an argument because he was asking me to buy him cigarettes and to get his cell charger back.  He was extremely upset because his gf broke up with him and he needed to text her.  He also was out of cigarettes and very cranky.  I gave in thinking it wasn't a battle worth fighting - especially because of his situation.  Not sure what to do anymore.  I have to let things go ........  
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Feeling your anxiety! Don\'t know what to say except keep taking care of you. Is he working? Don\'t remember if you said. Is he in community college? If you\'re buying his cigs and paying for his cell, I guess not. How can we get them to start the responsible/accountable track? I\'m facing this in a few months! With you all the way. Hugs, D.
mom-of-3
mom-of-3

No - he finished school - getting his diploma at an odd time. Job? No. He, supposedly, applied at a few places and twice said that when I took his charger away was when he was supposed to hear from some possible employers. Sure. Recently, he\'s changed mind about school - talking about going to a trade school over a community college. Whenever I bring it up, however, he never seems to be interested in talking about it. I am not getting worked up about, however, because I believe he\'ll come around. He\'s so far behind in the maturity department so he has some catching up to do. My husband has a project for him to work on and, hopefully, that might give him some confidence - something to feel good about. So we\'ll see...... maybe this might spark some ideas for him...
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m with you on this! M. is starting to do some of this too. She did call and make arrangements to take the GED pre-test so that\'s a start. I know all about the lack of confidence too, and hope T can see it\'ll make him feel good about doing something constructive and that it\'s not that \"hard\" to work, or go to a Trade school. Guess we\'ll have to do the motivational encouragement a bit more huh?