Two Dads
Dad was the nice dad today. It's the way of a person with a mental illness and dementia. He thought he was coming home tomorrow and that he would have skilled nursing care. He said he did not want me to break myself down caring for him. Like I said the nice dad.
He also said he was happy that his dog now had a full life. Dad had been afraid to let him out for walks, so the poor thing used to have to stay indoors all the time. Now he's out walking and has a friend(or fighter) in my dog.
Later, I told my dad that he was moving to a skilled rehab center. He said he realized he needed to go so he can get his strength back.
I know that he does not see this place as his last address, but it is so sad. When my dad is mean it's almost easier to do this. He just seems so helpless now.
If I see one more article about how to live to be 100, I'll scream. I'm for quality of life, be it 20 years or 120 years. Still, I'm convinced that only in the early stages of dementia does a person suffer. Later, it seems almost a blessing for them. They are allowed to retreat to a simpler time in their life--one where their parents, relatives, spouses, are all still alive and doing well. Sometimes my dad thinks it's 1948. In that year he would have been 21 years old, his life just starting.
He also said he was happy that his dog now had a full life. Dad had been afraid to let him out for walks, so the poor thing used to have to stay indoors all the time. Now he's out walking and has a friend(or fighter) in my dog.
Later, I told my dad that he was moving to a skilled rehab center. He said he realized he needed to go so he can get his strength back.
I know that he does not see this place as his last address, but it is so sad. When my dad is mean it's almost easier to do this. He just seems so helpless now.
If I see one more article about how to live to be 100, I'll scream. I'm for quality of life, be it 20 years or 120 years. Still, I'm convinced that only in the early stages of dementia does a person suffer. Later, it seems almost a blessing for them. They are allowed to retreat to a simpler time in their life--one where their parents, relatives, spouses, are all still alive and doing well. Sometimes my dad thinks it's 1948. In that year he would have been 21 years old, his life just starting.
Replies
Watching dementia claim the ones we love is hard. It is hardest at the beginning when they have moments of clairty. We hurt for them as they realize something is wrong and can\'t fix it. I once told a daughter of her mother who was further into it. That when she visited she was just volunteering to sit with a nice lady and hold her hand and talk to her. She told me later thst the advise helped her to deal and not be so upset. Be there and give all the support you can. Bless you for being there for him, nice dad or bad. Hugs.
I am glad you have care arranged for your Dad. It will be easier for you, to just be there, to love and comfort him. That\'s how it should be, ...it will be difficult for you, to lose your Dad. be at Peace, you are doing The Very Best, for your Dad.
Love and hugs...Sandra
I\'m so glad he will be in a skilled rehab center. That will be better for him and you. You can then be there when you can.. I know how hard it is!! Been there and done it with my Mother and Uncle. Thank goodness Mother didn\'t ever get combative. My uncle did at certain times, but, most of the time he was ok. It is hard to watch them \"lose\" themselves. Hugs, Joely
glad for you, it is easier for you and remember like I told my mother who would go and see my aunt (my dad\'s sister) and my mother would get sad, upset what ever you want to call it, as my aunt would ask my mother how so and so was, what they were up to, etc and my mother would tell her that so and so had died and my aunt would get crying and it\'d take a while to get her calmed down. So I told mom, just tell auntie that so and so is fine, having a wonderful time where they are at and just don\'t tell her they died. That worked, she might remember my mother or not but my mother thought she had to go and visit, once she started doing what I suggested both of them were fine. Take it easy....one day at a time...moment by moment...hugs, Sandi