TURTLE RUNS FAST

OK, ready for another adventure into my life? ROFLOLMy sis, I adore and practically raised her as there is 12 yrs between us. But she is quiet and watches life while I go full tilt screaming "We can do this! I know we can get by with it! Come on! It'll be fun!"So, one day I am visiting her and we get ready to go to my mom's. I have my daughter in the van with me and sis lives in the country. So we go downhill on a curvy one lane road and I spot a tarpine (turtle) in the road. I miss it then realize the next car could hit it and I can't stand that so I shove the van in reverse and start going backwards up this curvy one lane country road.Sis freaks screaming "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" to which I reply "Sure I can, see, you just drive backwards. She then states "WHAT IF ANOTHER CAR IS COMING?!" I calmly reply, "Nah, won't happen." and proceed to back up. I then park the car while sis is having a nervous breakdown and hyperventilating and my daughter is acting like this a normal standard behavior what's the big deal. ROFLOLI get out to save the poor creature tarpine and get back into van. Tell freaked sis to "hold this". She is now against the van door losing it saying "I CAN'T TOUCH THAT THING!" And about this time my daughter is going "OOOOOOO, Let me hold it!" I explain to keep her fingers away from the head as it can take a finger off. So she is thrilled to hold the tarpine by its shell on her lap with sis unsticking herself from the van door.OOPS! Daughter is now yelling, "MOM! IT PEED ON ME!" Not to worry. I calmly say "It's just turtle pee, dig for napkins and throw them to her in the back seat. SHEEZ! So, now daughter doesn't want to hold the turtle anymore and I am driving through this ENTIRE EPISODE of sis unsticking herself from van door, turtle peeing, and throwing napkins!I keep driving digging for a plastic bag from the store which I always keep in the cars. Put turtle in bottom of bag and leave it open so it doesn't die from asphyxiation. I then hook it between the seat of mine and my sister. Yes, she goes back to the van door.I am driving thru all this and notice the turtle is trying to escape. Sis notices too and states "IT'S CLIMBING OUT!" to which I calmly state, "Well, you better shake the side of the bag a little or it will get loose in the car." She, being shocked and mortified says "I AM NOT TOUCHING THAT THING!" I said, "Fine then it will just crawl out on you." ROFLOL She shook the bag every twitch that turtle made.15 mins we are at mom's and sis runs into the house yelling for mom and that I am crazy and have a turtle and blurbs the entire story as my daughter calmly gets out and I am retrieving the poor turtle.I come into the house with my turtle and sis immediately runs THRU the house locking herself in the bedroom. Mom is just shaking her head. I hold the turtle face level at the door and say to sis, "Come on out, the turtle's gone." She has learned as I taught her well, "I AIN'T COMIN' OUT! YOU GOT THAT THING RIGHT AT THE DOOR!" I'm losing it totally and mom is going into mom mode but she's just used to this as this is life with her children!So finally, mom breaks up the fun and demands I put the turtle outside. I slump and do as I am told and take poor fella outside and let loose under a nice cool out building for safety. I then come in and wash my hands and sis is still locked in the bedroom screaming for mom saying "IS IT REALLY GONE? DID SHE REALLY TAKE IT OUT??" By this point mom is laughing as well and we both assure poor sis she is safe from the running attacking turtle.I return home, made t-shirts to match with a turtle on it and called it the "SISTER'S TURTLE CLUB" but when I called to tell her I was mailing her a package, but not what was in it, she said "IT BETTER NOT BE ALIVE AND IT BETTER NOT BE A TURTLE!" I told her just to open it quickly, it wouldn't bite, to take good care of it and let her imagination do the rest. ROFLOL