turned the help down

Yesterday didn't work out as I had hoped.  We met with J and his doctor and ...... J refused and became upset.  Doctor said he has strong concerns about J since he expressed to him that he has had some suicidal ideation.  He also said that depression suicide rates are actually lower than those with addiction issues.  J has both.  The reason J went to this doctor to begin with was for medication.  Medication that he's been letting sit here at home - untouched.  After the appointment J said that he doesn't want to stop drinking ~ especially during the summer.  Great - didn't come home last night.  Things are getting worse but he doesn't seem to care.  In fact, he told us that he's used to feeling bad - getting used to it.  Wonderful.  Again - this is where prayer comes in......
Ironically, today I'm supposed to volunteer at the annual golf outing for suicide prevention.  This is my 4th year being involved in this organization - upon discovering J's depression in high school.  I knew his depression would come back someday but had no idea that he would develop a drinking problem too.  My husband is supposed to golf in this even too.  I say "supposed to" because thunderstorms are predicted today and right now it's thundering......... All I can say - by the way things have been going lately - "It's par for the course!"