Tuesday,my wheelchair arrives today,it's taken 4 months

Good morning journal,the time is now 5:27am,I have been awake since around 4:00am when Buttons and Caesar woke me to go outside. Yesterday,I got through another pulmonary rehab class,I am managing the gym equipment a little easier than when I first started,that's progress,right?. As usual,this morning I am a little stiff and achy,but I assume that's a good thing,it proves that my muscles are still there at least,they just need a little fine tuning to be back to what they were before my collapse at work last year. When I arrived home,my wife told me that she had gotten a telephone call from the wheelchair people,my chair will be delivered today between 2:00pm and 3:00pm,it's only taken four months,and yes,I gave in to a little bit of sarcasm there. No news yet from the disability agency,I was hoping that we would hear something before Christmas,but it doesn't look like that will happen,so we will just have to wait until they decide to get off their backsides and actually get around to looking at my claim,I may try and call them today just to let them know that I haven't died in the period of time they've been looking at my case,it's always nice to remind government departments that your still around and that they will have to deal with you at some stage. I was very tired on my return home yesterday,and,after a bowl of my wife's home made soup and some toast,I decided to go and lie down for an hour or two,I went to bed at about 3:00pm,but my mind was racing frantically,and it was impossible to sleep,I got up at just before 5:00pm and took my night medications,it was somewhat early I know,but they finally did their thing and knocked me out,and I remained like that until the dogs woke me this morning. Between my voices and my racing thoughts,it has been very difficult to focus,or even function logically,for any prolonged period of time,I find myself veering off in every direction,spinning away at different tangents,it leaves me tired and with prolonged headaches,my wife and I have discussed this and perhaps wonder if the new drug that I have been put on,venlafaxine,might be causing a problem. My wife has done a lot of research concerning my various illnesses and the drugs that I take for them,so when she speaks,I listen,she is very knowledgeable and clued up on the different side effects that one can encounter with different medication,and she has mentioned that one of the side effects of venlafaxine can be racing thoughts possibly leading to mania or hyper mania,I don't feel manic or hyper manic,I just find the quickness of my mind,and my speeding thought patterns difficult to deal with. The best way I can describe the way I'm feeling is that I always seem to be three or four steps behind my brain,I think that I've finally caught up with it,only to discover that it has moved on to something else before I've noticed,I then have to start the whole process of trying to catch up again,it's a bit like running for a bus that is beginning to move away from the stop before you get there,you can see it's moving,but there is nothing you can do to catch it no matter how fast you seem to run. I have also found it increasingly difficult to come here and journal,I have always had the ability to transfer my thoughts and feelings into words,but just lately,I have found myself struggling to find words and phrases to describe what I want to say,I find this extremely disturbing,my writing has always been my main way of communication,it has just always been easier to write what I want to say rather than try and put it into words verbally,now I seem to be losing the ability to do this when I want to,and this saddens me greatly. I find it very hard to focus or concentrate,even in the early hours of the morning when night hasn't quite surrendered to the new day like it is now,I am alone,except for Caesar who is carrying out his usual sentry duty on our sofa,and yet my brain refuses to be still and let me think. I know that among my ricocheting thoughts that Jeremiah,Ruth and Micah are continually speaking to me,they don't mean to make it hard for me,and I understand that,but there are times when I have had to ask them to let me rest,just for a little while,and usually they are very good about it,but at other times they continue to press me when it seems particularly important to them. Well journal,that seems to be all that I am capable of writing for now,I am going to sit in my comfy old armchair with a fresh coffee and let my three companions in my mind speak to me,until next time,may God continue to walk with us,I am trying to do His work with the help of Jeremiah,Ruth and Micah,may Jesus once again lend us His right arm to lean on in this new day ahead.