Tuesday morning,a hectic start to the day

Good morning journal,the time is now 11:23am,I was awakened by the intense pain in my left shoulder and neck area at 6:30am,after massaging it for twenty minutes or so,I managed to get comfortable enough to doze off again only to be woken once more at 9:35am with the same pain again.I have no idea what the problem is but I have only now gotten comfortable enough to come to my desk to try and type a little.It has been a little bit of a hectic start to our day thus far,the telephone rang just before 10:00am,it was a gentleman from the letting agency which we rent our home from,he came around to look at our exterior doors and has told us we need both a new front door as well as a new rear door into our back garden.This is good news for us for a couple of reasons,a)our front door especially has huge gaps in the wood paneling,you can actually stand inside with the door closed and see into our front garden,b)our rear door is warped and we have to fight sometimes to be able to lock it,.....result of his examination?,two new doors with no cost to us,....what a great start to the day!. Now,to other news,remember the telephone call I got from mental health last week to tell me I was going to be allocated a new case worker on the Friday?,.....nothing yet,my wife is going to wait until tomorrow and ring them again,me?,I'm not all that bothered,I've gotten used to no news so I've kind of gotten conditioned to expect little or nothing from the people supposedly in charge of my health and well being so it doesn't really affect me the way it used to anymore.Caesar is still wandering around like the love sick puppy he is while Bree continually struts her stuff before his adoring eyes,and we,much to Caesar's disgust,continue to thwart his attempts to "do the deed" with the object of his passion,oh well son,not everything we want in life comes to pass.Speaking of things coming to pass,no news yet on my wheelchair or my application for disability,never mind though,I may get one,or both,for Christmas,which would be two really good Christmas gifts that both my wife and I could share together,we live in hope.Next month my pulmonary rehab classes will begin,I'm hoping that at the end of the six week course I will have put a little muscle and weight back on,I don't quite know what to expect but I'm actually looking forward to it.On Thursday,when our next allowance goes into the bank,we will send for our credit reports,we need them to put the debt relief order in place with the courts.After we get the credit reports,we then need to go back to the citizens advice bureau with the fee of one hundred and eighty pounds to actually begin the process,as I said,it's voluntary bankruptcy,but we have no other choice left open to us,we have to hope that between now and when we actually get the court order done,that our creditors don't do anything before then,if they do,there isn't a lot we can do to stop things;we need time,let us hope that God is still with us and gives us the time we need.As for my voices?,they are still talking to me,so whatever your giving me to take them away isn't working doc,perhaps that's because they are actually real,has anyone but me even considered that possibility?,no,I didn't think so.Ever since I was a small boy,I've had God in my life,at first,it was the God that my mother taught me about,and He was one scary dude!,my mother's God was a God of vengeance and punishment,He saw everything you did even when you were asleep!,for a five year old kid,that's pretty scary.How can you be responsible for stuff that happens in your dreams?,but until I was almost twenty,that was the only God I knew;the God I know today found me in a police cell in the Scottish Highlands when a kindly police officer gave me his own bible after I had been arrested on a charge of being drunk and disorderly on the Queen's highway.What I read that day changed my whole outlook and belief in God,I realized when the bible fell open at Psalm 139,and I read it in it's entirety,that God loved me for me,it didn't matter that I wasn't perfect,He made me and He loved me,despite all of my faults,despite me being a sinner,He loved me,and I love Him today,so I don't find it strange at all that three people from the Bible speak to me on a daily basis,why would I?,if other people find it hard to believe that's up to them,I'm not trying to convince them otherwise,but leave me to believe what I believe,I don't think that's too much to ask,do you?. Jeremiah talks to me of "a message,or the message",and lately he has been using the word "Baruch" when he wants to attract my attention;my wife and I talked about this last evening at some length and she went on Google and actually came up with the word.It can mean a blessing in Hebrew,but there was also a man called Baruch who was Jeremiah's secretary,I'm not sure in which context Jeremiah is using it,is he blessing me?,is he calling me Baruch by name?,I'm not sure,but I'm hoping that in time it will be revealed to me.Ruth and Micah are gentler souls,but I can feel the love from all three,They are speaking to me because I have some purpose to carry out,I'm just not sure what that purpose is yet,but I am confident that whatever it is,I will get to know in time,I'm not going anywhere,and I know that Jeremiah,Ruth and Micah aren't either,no matter what pills the doctors give me,so time is something that I have in abundance.I know that people reading my journal might think that I've completely lost the plot,so be it,I'm not trying to convince anyone of my sanity or otherwise,I'm just telling it the way it is,without embarrassment or shame or any other emotion you care to name,it is just the way it is,you are free to believe or not believe,that is up to you,I am the same me as I've always been,I just have company in my head besides me now,and I love them all.Well journal,that seems to be all my news for now,may the Good Lord continue to walk beside us as we travel through another day together,and may His love and guidance be present in our home and our lives this day.