Tuesday Morning
I am up early this morning with Lefty and Sammy. Only 3 more days till move day. I have listed my armoire but if it hasn't sold in a few days then I am just going to keep it.
I hope the day is uneventful. With what is going on at work I doubt that it will be but our days are as eventful as we let them be. It's not what happens, it's our reactions that make them good or bad.
I have been here with Roomie for over a month now and have to say I will miss the familiarity of his place. He and I talked about the abusive past relationship he ran from. This man let that woman get the best of him. I wish I could have known him before all that happened because now he doesnt put any work into a relationship. She emptied his cup. Hes a really good person but, I think at his 58 y/o and never being married, hes not going to change. We have a strange relationship. He wants more but I'm not willing to break my promise to myself. Hes always his best when he knows hes going to lose me. I know I'm worth more than that and I cant dictate how a person feels about me as my worth. Clearly in this situation and most past ones, they've been big talkers and no action. Its true, action speaks loudly. Lesson learned.
My cup is empty too and I'm using this time to recharge.
Happy Taco Tuesday all!
Replies
Hm-m-m-m. . . "Our days are as *eventful* as we let the be?" My mind is spinning on the notion that I get to control which curve balls life sends me? Girl howdy I have me a list longer than the Coronaville circus of events I want to deny ownership of. . .
But my brain settled a bit with the closing line of that paragraph. I, too, believe I have a modicum of control over my reactions to those events. Nowhere near as much as justy logics imply, but a whole heap more than I have over the events, themselves. The masked chaos is still out there and I'm still reacting like an unmasked German with a yellow star on her sleeve, but. . . Works in progress. . .
Our days are as eventful as we let them be... at least how we react/ cope with things, for sure. I needed that reminder this morning. My anxiety is ticked up right now. Can’t put my finger on why specifically but I am a little too hyper vigilant right now for my own good, worrying myself needlessly over what feels like every single loose end in my life. It’s like a lie my brain tells me and I know it, and yet....
I just worked out for a bit this morning and that help reset on my over active brain this morning. So yeah, recharge, reset, whatever it takes!
There’s a statue of a monk in meditation at a museum I visit. He’s sitting in lotus position with one palm up and one down showing that as our ‘cups’ are filled they are emptying too. This image always fills mine up a little more.
The chaotic energy in this world is affecting all of us. Infeel it at work and at home and my cats have been acting anxious too probably picking up on mine. What I was saying was we can CHOOSE to let these things get to yes or we can so our best to keep moving forward. I'm trying to move forward even if it feels like I'm wearing lead shoes.
In a weird way, it’s the opposite for me. The more chaotic the world the more I tend to instinctively lean into the opposite direction. I think it’s my attempt to be the calm.
It’s the stuff happening in my own circle of influence that can sometimes make me feel like a live wire.
Totally agree about choosing. But for some people the circumstance of their lives is so bleak that what to choose from is pretty sparse. Maybe that’s the empty cup.