Had a fairly good day I was very busy running errands.Now I'm feeling down I always got a phone call from Justin telling me good night and sweet dreams it sucks that I only have memories of him but am thankful I still have them.I wish I could start my life over everything would be different I knew Justin was taking pain medication just didn't know it was on the addict side didn't even dawn on me how bad until it was to late I partly blame myself because he did ask for help I just didn't take it seriously I thought everything would work out WHAT A SLAP IN THE FACE I feel gulity for not getting him help.I can't get rid of the memory of him in that casket brings me to tears my baby boy is dead.Never would of thought Why do bad things happen to good people?There are so many in this world that abuse or murder children and here I am trying to be the best parent I knew how to be.Just isn't fair.I couldn't save his life because of my stupidity.I only hope he has forgiven me.Peace to all.Big hugs to everyone.Vicki



Don\'t be so tough yourself Vicki! You deserve to treat yourself better. Justin wouldn\'t want you to feel so guilty about his death. You and he had a very special realtuionship and you did the best you could as his mom. Cherish his memory and the good times you two had together and HANG IN THERE!:0)

I agree with bb4 ... do not feel guilty about Justin\'s death. You were (are) a good Mom. You and I have talked alot of times about those special memories of our Justin\'s and how they are still in our hearts.
Alot of people would love to have the relationships you and I had with our Justin\'s.
I would not change anything except I would have put my foot down about him getting that damn motorcycle.
But it\'s what he wanted, and he got it with his money, and he was 25 years old and made his own decision.
You take care of yourself. Justin needs you to do that , okay ?
Love you,