Trying to stay stable

I was able to see my therapist today, but out in a pulic place since his license has been suspending pending further investigation.  It has been suspended for a week now and it isn't looking good for him at all.  I have been seeing him for 11 years.  He is more like a life coach.  He wants us to still see each other even if he doesn't get his license back.  I feel so sad and have so much anxiety.  I am supposed to be flying to Atlanta, GA this Saturday with my daughter to see my dad and stepmom.  I don't know if I feel strong enough to do that.  I have many feelings of suicide every day all day with crying.  I'm scared for my life.