Trying to keep my head above water

ACC sensitive claims sending me for another assessment after no contact with them since 2004 now it is 2015 and the government is doing the upmost to get rid of people like myself who receive a independent allowance from the abuse while in state care. My life is life in a little small bubble, day by day living with no surprises and controlled so I can function as well as possible. Since ACC New Zealand wrote and said they were sending for another mental health assessment my control over my disorders have become less affective. Being already on a lot of medication increase and extra medication has helped little .Crying, shaking,fear,and losing time ,OCD attacks and panic attacks are no longer within my control so have to make my life bubble smaller, recall my support systems in place and return to Daily strength to write and use what has helped in the past. The ACC though no fault of them have re triggered horrible feelings, thoughts, suicide thinking and here I was thinking my 50's were going to be my best years having years of hospital admissions, great very helpful years of work on my abuse issues and the mental injury caused by years of sexual and physical mental abuse.Feeling very small with little to no control and the company I thought was helping under this national government has turned into my abuser now .