Trying to keep my head above water
It's been exactly two weeks since my last attempt to break your ice. *sigh* Two miserable weeks that have felt like a freaking century. I can't believe how much you changed my life, it's like you made your way through every wall I ever built, and now that's the very same reason why I can't let you go.
Gosh I miss you so much. I miss my friend, my counselor, my funny guy.
I hate you for giving us up. We could've been great, you said it yourself, but sometimes I wonder if you really meant it.
I hate the fact that I feel miserable and the only person I want to talk about it is the same that makes me feel this way.
I've been thinking if I'd do this all over again. I think I would, I was the happiest girl in the world those days. You gave me hope, new dreams, you made feel like I was on top of the world, smiling ear to ear, making my heart skip a beat and dance around like a fool, why would you do all of those things if you didn't want to be in a real relationship? WHY?
You said the last thing you wanted was to hurt me. Well, too late. I feel broken beyond repair, I feel so empty and alone. I don't understand how four months turned my life upside down, I don't know how two hours changed everything for me.
I don't even know if any of these make any sense, but I prefer to vent here instead of making a fool out of myself (again) trying to talk to you. I will get over you I promise but for now it's like trying to fit a square in a circle.
Gosh I miss you so much. I miss my friend, my counselor, my funny guy.
I hate you for giving us up. We could've been great, you said it yourself, but sometimes I wonder if you really meant it.
I hate the fact that I feel miserable and the only person I want to talk about it is the same that makes me feel this way.
I've been thinking if I'd do this all over again. I think I would, I was the happiest girl in the world those days. You gave me hope, new dreams, you made feel like I was on top of the world, smiling ear to ear, making my heart skip a beat and dance around like a fool, why would you do all of those things if you didn't want to be in a real relationship? WHY?
You said the last thing you wanted was to hurt me. Well, too late. I feel broken beyond repair, I feel so empty and alone. I don't understand how four months turned my life upside down, I don't know how two hours changed everything for me.
I don't even know if any of these make any sense, but I prefer to vent here instead of making a fool out of myself (again) trying to talk to you. I will get over you I promise but for now it's like trying to fit a square in a circle.
Replies
I have to say I love your posts, this was me a year go. You have such a way with words, thank you for posting here, it helps many of us. Hugs!
also, I would done mine over again too, he taught me how to truly LOVE and I often wonder if I\'ll ever feel that deep love again.
Thank you so much, you are way too kind. I don\'t know if I\'m just a plain hopeless romantic or what but I think that if we can feel such deep love for someone who couln\'t or wouldn\'t love us back as much, we are definitely going to be able to love someone who\'s worth it with much more intensity.