Trying to keep my head above water
Well I think I've finally gotten over that cold for the most part...althought there are lingering coughs etc....but mostly I'm just drained. I have no energy, I can't motivate myself to do anything even though I'm surrounded by an extremely messy house and a "to-do" list a mile long.I'm just worn out.All of this with Sarah has been going on for too long and its just taken it's toll. I've become worn too thin. I try each day. I help her with her things, I do stuff for her because she can't do for herself but by the end of the day I'm the one that is exhausted and can barely climb the stairs one more time or get up off the couch to get something AGAIN.It's not her fault, she is sooo sick and has been for so long. She's beyond worn out. But she's so needy...... I feel bad even saying that....but it's the truth. And I can't take it.I just don't have it in me to keep giving. I saw our reg. psych last week.....she really didn't like what I had to report (she was coming back from a holiday). So she was going to look into the hospital stuff and what's going on with that dr. and why we don't seem to be getting any attention. It seems we have fallen thru the cracks again. They seem content to let me do all the work at home.....but that's not working. I can't take Sarah off any more meds or lower doses......she has run into withdrawal symptoms and recurrence of her psych symptoms, so then I had to put her right back onto the meds, back to where she was before in order to stabilize her and lessen her suffering.Our dr. said I did exactly the right thing, that she would have told me to do just that.Poor Sarah! She's going thru Hell and getting no help. I want to be her rock......but I don't have any strength left.