Trying to go
I am hesitant to see a psychologist because I don't do well around people I am not comfortable with so I ended up here :-)
Basically my story is that I have been holding on to a relationship because I moved to a different area for him (away from everyone i know) and we had a child together. He did a complete 360 and can be a complete lunatic. I have tried to tell him that drinking is not the answer but he doesn't care. When he gets drunk he will tell me that he doesn't want me. that other women know him better than me, I can go f*** myself. He has put his hands on me, constantly calling me names, I recently asked him to stop because my oldest 2 kids are starting to catch on how he is treating me. He was like " ooooh yeah don't call you names" and rolled his eyes. I have tried to leave before the first time I did he tried breaking the windows out of my car. the second time he grabbed a knife and told me if I tried to leave he would stab me. Yes I have called the cops twice with in a years time period but he ended up getting a pre trial diversion, they wouldn't put a NCO on my kids just me. Anyway after every incident he swears up and down that it is the last time and he does want to be with me but im to the point where I don't care anymore. Im so tired of worrying if hes cheating on me, even if theres no signs of it I haven't started trusting him again. He said he wanted to start over last august but he has done nothing. I probably should see a therapist but I nervous every time I try to make an appointment and then end up not doing it. When a guy shows any interest in me I get so uncomfortable, im just not the person I used to be. I used to be one of the most friendly people you would ever meet, now I walk with my head, I cant make eye contact with anyone. If im with a bunch of people I get anxious and want to get away. Every thing that has happened with me and him plays over and over again in my head and its driving me crazy.
Has anyone ever went through this, and if you did ,did you get over it without getting professional help?
Basically my story is that I have been holding on to a relationship because I moved to a different area for him (away from everyone i know) and we had a child together. He did a complete 360 and can be a complete lunatic. I have tried to tell him that drinking is not the answer but he doesn't care. When he gets drunk he will tell me that he doesn't want me. that other women know him better than me, I can go f*** myself. He has put his hands on me, constantly calling me names, I recently asked him to stop because my oldest 2 kids are starting to catch on how he is treating me. He was like " ooooh yeah don't call you names" and rolled his eyes. I have tried to leave before the first time I did he tried breaking the windows out of my car. the second time he grabbed a knife and told me if I tried to leave he would stab me. Yes I have called the cops twice with in a years time period but he ended up getting a pre trial diversion, they wouldn't put a NCO on my kids just me. Anyway after every incident he swears up and down that it is the last time and he does want to be with me but im to the point where I don't care anymore. Im so tired of worrying if hes cheating on me, even if theres no signs of it I haven't started trusting him again. He said he wanted to start over last august but he has done nothing. I probably should see a therapist but I nervous every time I try to make an appointment and then end up not doing it. When a guy shows any interest in me I get so uncomfortable, im just not the person I used to be. I used to be one of the most friendly people you would ever meet, now I walk with my head, I cant make eye contact with anyone. If im with a bunch of people I get anxious and want to get away. Every thing that has happened with me and him plays over and over again in my head and its driving me crazy.
Has anyone ever went through this, and if you did ,did you get over it without getting professional help?
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