Trying to go on
As much as I want Justin back I know it will never happen not in a million years here on earth.I'll see him sometime.But I have his love and memories in my heart (whats left of it.)I need to try and focus on my family I don't think they know me anymore.They don't understand I don't want to go anywhere.Ashli and I walked the dogs 2 nights ago but haven't done it since did go out last night and picked blackberries you have to fight the June Bugs.When Mike got home last night I was asleep but I got up.Rebecca, Ashli and I went to pool today.Ashli said there is one of Justin's friends I didn't go talk to him but I bet I spent 15 minutes watching everthing he did.What a sick way to feel.I have been doing better my crying is not so intense but I do cry silently in my heart sometimes I cry out of nowhere but for the far part I'm doing better today.I can't bring him back I just cling to the memories good or bad Justin has been into trouble in his life just petty things not paying fines and Mom going up to the city jail to bail him out at 3:30 am I didn't even know where the jail was and I have lived here all my (almost) life.I ask some elderly man cleaning the parking lot where is the jail I had to walk a block to get there but I did it.Some days I do good. Sometimes days I do good but it always ends up at the beginning our live's are like rollar coaster hang on tight cause it's going to hurt.Love To All,jfm24,Vicki
Replies
You are so right...our lives are definitely a roller coaster ride. I think you are wise for trying to focus on your family...helps to take the focus off of you own pain. Take care...love and hugs..Karen
Please do focus on your family and spend time with them-it will be good for all of you to be together at this time. Picking blackberries sounds like fun! Wish we had some wild berries around here I could pick-I love to eat berries! My mom has wild blueberries at her cottage, so I might pick some when I go there next month. God bless you my dear friend! :0)
Vicki,
It isn\'t easy to go on without our babies and we must try. Take on little things at a time. Remember you will always be connected to Justin and you will see him again. I know it isn\'t easy waiting for the reunion and you have to chose life for this reunion to be something special. Justin wants you to live and that is what you need to do... one baby step at a time...Hugs, Inga
You were such a good mother to be there for Justin. So many parents would\'ve turned their backs on them. he knows you were there for him. He is still in your heart. YOu\'re right, you\'ll see him again one day. What a day that will be for all of us Moms.
I CAN ONLY IMAGINE.
You and I have to try to stay strong between now and then, though. I know some days are hard, but we can do it for our Justin\'s . They are helping to prepare a special place for us, but I do believe they want us to be happy while we are still here on earth.
I try to be .... I honestly try to be.
Love ya,
Kelly