Trying to get my life back

My son was sent to FCI New Jersey. We were hoping he would stay here in VA...I realize that this is probably the best place for him...they have a great program there that will help him with his problem..but I now cannot see him like I was. It is only 5 hours away..but I work, don't make a lot of money and wont be able to see him but maybe once every couple of months. They don't have video calls, and he is not allowed to use email (due to his crime). 
I feel sick..I just wish I could accept this and move on..but it is soo hard. I have no one to comfort me here, no one to give me hugs when I am down..I just feel all alone..
I sit and cry and wonder what I could have done to prevent this..my daughter said that there wasn't anything I could have done ...my other two turned out ok..
But as his mother, I do feel responsible. 
Just needed to get this out...right now I am feeling very sad, mad that he did this and it has not only effected him, but me and his dad...
I pary every day and night that I can get through this...