Trying to find motivation

I can see that I am still too thin, even though its not drastic like it used to be, I think thats what makes it hard to remind myself I have to keep going. When I was a rediculously low weight it was clear why, but know I am on the verge (or what I think is the verge) of a healthy weight it gets harder to eat enough to gain everyday, I guess I am a little scared of going to far the other way. So I am trying extra hard to find motivation, reminding myself if I were healthy I would get periods, I wouldn't gwt so cold, I would have more energy, I would have clearer thoughts, but I think what helps the most is looking at photos of how I used to look and how I look now to remind myself I am still a long way off. I want to look like I used to again, I look like a young woman in those photos, now I look like a 15 year old. This HAS to be the year I do it, I am wasting my life! I made a few bad choices over new year, mostly just acting an idiot when wasted. I always feel so bad when I make mistakes, and I did at first, but now I just think sod it! Every one I know has done silly irresponsible things so why should I hate myself for making mistakes when they don't hate themselves?! Maybe I am starting to except myself, even my flaws a little!