Trying to figure out who I am without her

I spent more of my life with her than without. We were still kids when we found eachother (me 19 & her 20). She was with me when I learned to be a man, husband, and father. Her soft sweet disposition smoothed all of my sharp edges and shined light on the darkness that I had inside of me. Every difficulty I faced in my adult life, she was right beside me offering unconditional love and kindness. When I felt lost, she showed me the way. When I fell apart, she put me back together. When I felt unloveable, her love for me was stronger than ever. She knew what I was thinking without me saying a word. She could change my mood with her beautiful smile. Her beautiful singing voice would calm the savage beast within me. Her kiss would melt me when I was frozen by fear or indecision. Her touch would bring me to life and motivate me when I felt like giving up.

Sometimes I would wake in the morning and she would be staring at me. A smile would creap across her face and you couldn't help but smile back. Then she would kiss me and the whole world would fall away. Nothing would exist in that moment but the two of us. Her hand cupping the back of my neck would send a wave of her energy through me. At that moment, I could face anything that life threw at me. 

Learning to live this life without her is going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done.