Trying to figure it out?

I have been talking to my first ever girlfriend.  We havent talked or seen each other since 1994.  It has been 3 months of us talking via text message, had dinner a few times and I am loving every minute we are together.  I am just very worried about things.  I am still not divorced, we still share my money, she still comes to my house to see the kids, hangs out, cooks dinner and acts like everything is fine.  Oddly though, she doesnt and I dont show her any type of affection.  She never brings up signing divorce papers and every time I bring up anything about filing for bankruptcy, she never follows through.  I am so afraid that if I push these issues, I will hurt her, but the other part of me says, "screw her, she cheated, she moved out, she wanted it over".  But I dont do anything about it.  Now my bigger fear is that my old girlfriend is having major financial issues, might be losing her apartment and will have no place for her and her son to live.  I have always felt that I need to please everyone and not make waves but the fear of the consequences of my actions could destroy more lives than just mine.
 
So lost and confused.  I wonder if my stbx wife is just doing this to hold onto my money or is it too have her cake and eat it too.  Why should I be worried about her anymore?  Why should I care if she gets hurt by me helping someone else out? 
 
I talked to my 11 year old daughter about a hypothetical situation, what would you do if you had an old friend and she had a son and they had no place to live.  "I would make them live with me until they could make it on their own".  Out of the mouths of babes!!