Trying to Feel Better
Today I spent most of the day in bed resting... my chest has been hurting walking back and forth from one side of my apartment to the other sometime, but I'm going to try and make it into work tomorrow. I do have to walk, but I made it before, so I can make it again. I'm just going to take my Motrin before I go so I can have some painkiller in me. I've been okay with taking it... I could be better, but it's hard with me sleeping all night and halfway into the afternoon sometimes to take a pill on schedule. With my regular pills, I have a schedule set so I don't take them too close together- I tend to wake up about 9:30am every morning so I take them then, and I take them at 9:30 at night, so I have them spaced. Even if I don't wake up at that time, I'm up by noon so I'm taking them 10 hours apart more or less. That's still enough time to not worry about overlap. I can't wait to go to sleep tonight... I'm so tired! I got 11 hours of sleep last night and no nap today. I tried to take a nap but couldn't. I just couldn't get to sleep, and I had nightmares all last night again. I don't really remember them today like I did yesterday, but I know I had them. Geo said I was tossing and turning all night, too.
I'm trying to feel better mentally, too, as well as physically. I avoided what depressing stuff I could, today being 9/11 and all. I did okay for the most part, and what I did see didn't affect me too much. I don't know if it was good for me to avoid it all, but it seemed like the best choice to me. I don't know anyone who died, and I don't want to take away from people who lost someone, but if I can avoid something depressing when I'm dealing with my own depression, then that's what I have to do. I also just lay in bed and watched the clouds pass by and talked on the phone with my friend. We talked for almost an hour and a half, and it was nice. I'm going to see about taking a bath later if I have time. I've missed taking my nightly baths.... they are such a nice way to unwind at the end of a long day. I just need to make time for myself. It's funny saying that when all I do is have time for myself, but I don't spend it for me. I spend it doing other stuff. I guess it is time for me, but I don't feel like it. A nice bath does feel like good me time :) I need to hurry up and get this done so I can jump into the bath, but I'm having a brain freeze so to speak.
Food was good today, I was in my calorie range. I had a lot of pasta today, but a lot of tomato sauce as well so I did get some veggies in. I need to get to the store and get more veggies. I have a ton of onions, but there's not too much you can do with just onions. I want to get some more salad, since it's been a while since I've had salad. Well, it's been a week or so lol, but I just love me some salad. It's just hard with not having a car and all that and trying to get to the store. Geo was able to pick up some milk today, which is good. I should be glad he went to his dad's since he was able to go get milk. He had a good time there, and I was fine here by myself. I actually enjoyed my time by myself, being able to do whatever I wanted to do without having to worry about him seeing me. Actually, I spent most of the time on the phone and online like I normally do, but whatever.
Mood was okay again today. I'm not feeling good, so I'm going to leave it at okay, but I'm not as bad as I was the past couple days. I've been feeling a bit better every passing day. I am trying to feel better for my dad. He wouldn't want me to be depressed at this time of year, so I have to do what I can to feel better. I get sad because he died around this time, but he would just want me to remember him for the good and not get all depressed. Stress was low today... I didn't feel stressed so I'm just leaving it at that. Sleep was upset, like I said above. I'm going to go take my bath now!
I'm trying to feel better mentally, too, as well as physically. I avoided what depressing stuff I could, today being 9/11 and all. I did okay for the most part, and what I did see didn't affect me too much. I don't know if it was good for me to avoid it all, but it seemed like the best choice to me. I don't know anyone who died, and I don't want to take away from people who lost someone, but if I can avoid something depressing when I'm dealing with my own depression, then that's what I have to do. I also just lay in bed and watched the clouds pass by and talked on the phone with my friend. We talked for almost an hour and a half, and it was nice. I'm going to see about taking a bath later if I have time. I've missed taking my nightly baths.... they are such a nice way to unwind at the end of a long day. I just need to make time for myself. It's funny saying that when all I do is have time for myself, but I don't spend it for me. I spend it doing other stuff. I guess it is time for me, but I don't feel like it. A nice bath does feel like good me time :) I need to hurry up and get this done so I can jump into the bath, but I'm having a brain freeze so to speak.
Food was good today, I was in my calorie range. I had a lot of pasta today, but a lot of tomato sauce as well so I did get some veggies in. I need to get to the store and get more veggies. I have a ton of onions, but there's not too much you can do with just onions. I want to get some more salad, since it's been a while since I've had salad. Well, it's been a week or so lol, but I just love me some salad. It's just hard with not having a car and all that and trying to get to the store. Geo was able to pick up some milk today, which is good. I should be glad he went to his dad's since he was able to go get milk. He had a good time there, and I was fine here by myself. I actually enjoyed my time by myself, being able to do whatever I wanted to do without having to worry about him seeing me. Actually, I spent most of the time on the phone and online like I normally do, but whatever.
Mood was okay again today. I'm not feeling good, so I'm going to leave it at okay, but I'm not as bad as I was the past couple days. I've been feeling a bit better every passing day. I am trying to feel better for my dad. He wouldn't want me to be depressed at this time of year, so I have to do what I can to feel better. I get sad because he died around this time, but he would just want me to remember him for the good and not get all depressed. Stress was low today... I didn't feel stressed so I'm just leaving it at that. Sleep was upset, like I said above. I'm going to go take my bath now!
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