Trying to discard the Crap!!
Ok well I know I have ptsd and I know what started it, but I think a lot contributed to the onset of ptsd. I will not bore myself or others with all of it but here is the highlights. If I must move on I must really address these things. 1) Raped age 13 by so called friend 2) Rapist turned it around told all my friends I was gay and came on to him 3) Friends(so called friends stay around but torrment me) 4)raped again age 17 by 2 new so-called friends(more forceful this time) 5)Lost 2 friends(committed suicide:thought they were stronger than me) almost lost 3 6)ex-girlfriend(girlfriend at time)tries to drown my sister, trys to cut me, and turns out to be satanist, accuses me of hitting her. 7)Marry high school sweetheart, who turns out to be lesbian(I did not know) she physically and mentally abuses me, and tries to hook me up with men(knowing that I am not gay and that I was raped by males) 8)My daughter is sexually molest at age 2 at our church. Well there they are the major ones but not all. Missing are my times in psych centers, rehab, suicide attempt and many others. Now that I put them out their I must burn the trash. Wish it were that easy. My wife and I are talking a lot more about our pasts and what gave her anxiety dis-order and me ptsd. It is great, but it sucks oh so much. I got a migraine for 3 days, sleep and eating are more erratic, and now I am having night and day mares. Well getting worked up so later.