Trying to calm down.

My alergies are bothering me I know that's part of how I feel, but I'm also having a problem getting the idea out of head that I'm not doing or have done something wrong. This has followed me around my whole life. I don't seem to be able to shake it today. I just don't feel right. I'm doing house work and I need to finish my homework. I checked my current status with the assignments I've tuned in and the professor says to keep up the good work. I had one comment on one of the assignments that could have been written differently. Other than that he says it's ok. Why can't I just except that? The other thing is; in the back of my head, I keep thinking how I'm alone in this house and wish I had more people close to me who understand me. Who know me. I also think that because I have almost always been the giving one in a relationship that when someone else gives to me I find it very hard to except it as well. Why can't I just except things without thinking I have to give something back? Why feel guilty when I feel good and when I feel bad I want to stop hurting, the guilt comes right back. What the................. is wrong with me?! (TEARS IN MY EYES) I have to stop now. ............. : > (.............SJH