Trying to breathe

So after the bleeding episode the other night, I am trying to get my head into a better space. When I spoke to the obstetrician he said that he would arrange with the nurses to move my scan forward to the six week mark. I was really happy about this. Also, he said that he would arrange for me to have a repeat beta done that very day..which I did.
So, when I hadn't heard anything by 4:30pm that afternoon, I rang the clinic and left a message. The nurse rang me back a few minutes later saying that my "results were fine"...she wouldn't give me the exact beta number which kinda drove me insane! Also, she said: "now Doctor wants us to move the scan forward to six weeks but given your results today, I think it is best that we just leave it at the 8 week mark"...well, I was floored...I have never in all of my professional life come across a nurse over riding a CONSULTANT's (ie the highest level rank of doctor) request....so I dumbly agreed and promptly called my husband...who was equally floored. Now, don't get me wrong, this is nothing against nurses...I have seen plenty of experienced nurses in my time correctly override junior doctors and even registrars (ie mid level ranking) especially in a hospital setting, but this is a private clinic. I am still trying to work out her motivation...was she just too lazy to move the appointment as it was after 5pm? Or did she genuinely have my best interests at heart?? If so, can somebody please shed some light on to her reasoning, I am not overly angry just completely puzzled!!
Anyway, I decided that i would go and see my own family doctor at my own expense (never mind the thousands of dollars we are paying for this bloody private clinic!) and ask him to write a referral for me to have the scan at six weeks. I obviously don't want the scan at my own work seeing as the rumour mill is vicious there (my parents in law each found out I was first pregnant through a colleague at the local hospital and on the golf course!!)
So I have a scan booked in for next week, hopefully it will be a good result. I have decided that I focus waaaaaay too much on the negative. Worrying that something is going to happen doesn't lessen the pain if it does happen. So maybe I should take heed and start living positively. I need to visualize the future with a healthy pregnancy going to full term. Worrying and being anxious is a pointless exercise and I am all about efficiency.
So, yeah thats me for now. Trying to remain optimistic and positive : ) 

Replies

uclagirl1
uclagirl1

When the nurse called you back, I would have insisted to have that scan at 6 weeks, just like the doctor suggested. Most likely, nothing is wrong, but it would still make you feel better and relieve your concerns if you could get that scan sooner. I also would have demanded to know the beta- I like to know my numbers and \"fine\" is just not good enough for me.We need to be our own advocates. I am glad that you are going to your primary doctor for referral ( and possibly could get a second opinion).
While i also have nothing against nurses ( I am a nurse myself), but regarding medical professionals in general..if there is anything I learned in my own journey is that i need to ask/demand for what i want. I am the client at my fertility clinic and they are providing the service. Infertility is stressful enough as it is, and if there is anything they can do to make it easier for us, they should.
I think you are doing the best you can by staying positive. I wish you all the best and a healthy pregnancy..We are here for you.
Mrs2014
Mrs2014

ya I know I should have demanded the 6 weeks scan but I am such a people pleaser. Also,the town I live in is a small one and being in the heath profession (both my husband and I) makes it even smaller. I don\'t want to come across as a neurotic prima donna...that is definitely not the kiwi way! I have hopefully found a way around all of this and hopefuly the outcome w ill be a good one. I haven\'t had any more bleeding...bt also haven\'t had any more pregnancy symptoms, so am literally just waiting until Friday to see what the outcome is...fingers crossed!
uclagirl1
uclagirl1

Usually I am a people pleaser too, so I totally get it. At my fertility clinic the doctor ( RE) downplays all my concerns, so I didnt want to push it. Instead, I went to an endocrinology specialist and also ob/guy about my concerns/second opinion. I think I am the neurotic one and I am not even pregnant yet. But I am getting the care i need so that\'s all that matters.