Trying something new

So I've been having a lot of trouble lately, with my depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, self-esteem, weight, panic attacks, and stress.

My mom can't help much since she really just gets mad and she's very busy, she's a single mother of three so she doesn't really need me to add on to her work load anyways. My step-father is getting out of jail soon and that's set off a lot of problems (i.e. panic attacks).

I'm really tired of being tired all the time, having to force myself to get out of bed, trying to ignore everything so I can maybe pay attention in class (I have ADD so it's already hard), and my mom trying to force medication down my throat (I don't want to rely on medicine).

I know there's something wrong and I know I need help; I can't really get counseling until my mother finds the time to set up an appointment for me (I'm too young to do it myself apparently.) But as I said, it's not her fault I'm bust and I don't need to be number one priority. So I have taken it into my own hands to help myself, only I don't really know where to start, I saw an advertisement for this site and decided "what the hell might as well try it, if it doesn't work I can always stop."

So this is me trying something new, I hope it helps me a bit.