Trying some new ideas
07/ 04/ 11
I'm going to try out a few new things to help me deal with my problem.
1.) Try to avoid being alone for too long.
If I'm alone for too long I always started thinking about how much I suck and all that crap. I also am usually alone at the gym which is where I yell at myself most often. I can't really avoid being alone at the gym, but I can try to change my thoughts while I'm there.
2.) Add a new voice to my mind.
When the two sides of my mind start trying to kill eachother I need to have another voice come in and break it up. I need a mental drill instructor to keep my mind from wandering to bad thoughts. I tried it at the gym today and this is how it went.
"God I am so weak and disgusting! Why can't I do this amount of weight? I'm just so worthless!"
"DON'T SAY THAT! GETÂ BACK TO WORKING OUT OR YOU WON'T GET BETTER! SITTING AROUND AND THINKING ABOUT IT NEVER HELPED ANYONE!"
It seems to have worked because I feel a little better today than I did after my last few workouts. I just need to stay focused.
I'm going to try out a few new things to help me deal with my problem.
1.) Try to avoid being alone for too long.
If I'm alone for too long I always started thinking about how much I suck and all that crap. I also am usually alone at the gym which is where I yell at myself most often. I can't really avoid being alone at the gym, but I can try to change my thoughts while I'm there.
2.) Add a new voice to my mind.
When the two sides of my mind start trying to kill eachother I need to have another voice come in and break it up. I need a mental drill instructor to keep my mind from wandering to bad thoughts. I tried it at the gym today and this is how it went.
"God I am so weak and disgusting! Why can't I do this amount of weight? I'm just so worthless!"
"DON'T SAY THAT! GETÂ BACK TO WORKING OUT OR YOU WON'T GET BETTER! SITTING AROUND AND THINKING ABOUT IT NEVER HELPED ANYONE!"
It seems to have worked because I feel a little better today than I did after my last few workouts. I just need to stay focused.
Replies
Great steps :)
look, will share u something I do when my thoughts get all like that...learnt that from that cognitive therapy...I always keep a pen and a paper...whenever I start going like that, first I write down what situation is bothering me...and YES U NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN... Then I write my emotions with percentage that describes the strength or each...then I write whatever thoughts on my mind...no need to write full words...short forms are enough...I just let it all out...then there are ten types of negative thoughts, so I try to match each negative thought with its type...this will show u how unrealistic ur thought is...then u try to replace the bad thoughts with a more logical ones...at the end write down the new percentages of ur feelings, and I grantee that u will see the difference... Heres an example...
The situation is, I am not satisfied with my performance, I see all those guys able to lift more than I can...I just wish if I can be better...
Feelings: anger 100% disappointment 100% guilt 50% shame 70% unmotivated 100%
Then the negative thought, the type and the altered thought...
1. God I am so weak and disgusting
Types: over generalization, leaving out the positives, labeling, all or nothing
More realistic thoughts: I might not be able to do this much, but that doesnt mean that I am completely and utterly weak... Its illogical labeling mysf by disgusting just because I am training on becoming better...I will try harder and I will get there, no need to jump to conclusion and label myself that! Noone was born strong and we all were born disgusting, lol covered with slime and weird, gewe stuff, lol
2. Why cant I do this amount of stuff
Types: jumping to conclusion, all or nothing
Altered thoughts: I discounted what I CAN already do and focused on what I CANT...its illogical asking why we dont have a certain thing...why I am not french? why I am not rich? Why dont I have eminem as a husband, in my case... Lol I will just keep working hard and i will be able to lift that amount...it needs time and patience...
3. I am so worthless
Type: labeling, discounting the positive
altered: so in that case MOST of human beings around the world are WORTHLESS because they cant do this amount... And whoever is able to do so is worthwhile? We were ALL created worthwhile... Because there is no way anyone can be completely worthless... If u said that someone is worthless, that means, his existence is not necessary and is okay to be killed...but did God allow that? Everyone matters... And no one is a super man, and ur noone, lol if u get it\'s..ur worthwhile because ur a human being..dont underestimate ur self...people respect ur presence and existence...
Now u can clearly see that u might still be angry, sad, ashamed, but not THAT much,20% or something..
Plz talk to ur self as u talk to a friend...befriend it\'s..stop this inner war... Smile to ur self, reward ur self...u did a great job :) dont minimize ur accomplishment... They matter and they are big :) I am so proud of you :) u should be proud too :)
Thanks for the advice. I do do a lot of those things that you listed as well. I have a very big problem with minimizing anything I do right. I\'m going to keep working on all of these things until something works
:) ur welcome buddy :)