Try again---I am saying goodbye to Brad on 7/24/09

I will try again as I am having trouble with my computer again.On the 24th of July..I am saving goodbye to Brad.This will be my final goodbye and this will be permanent.Brads ashes will be put in with his fathers.Then I will see the placque that this family has picked out.I was with Brad for 12 and half years and i am getting the short of the stick.Brad never wanted to make it legal and he told me that he didnt want marriage.I am finding out more lies that he told me and in the end I was screwed.He told me that he an insurance policy and that I was the beneficary.That is not true.His sister went to the credit union.Brad only has 1800 in his account and he had a debit card and that was all.All of this happened and it was over one word...MONEY.From January to April...Brad spent a great deal of money.And I mean Money.He spent 1500 for the cars.He brought two new computers/He brought a 900 tv..and when I asked where the money was coming from..he went ballistic.Then I realized that he was lying to me and he never intended for us to be married.He never wanted me to be protected if anythind did happen to him.Brads sister had to borrow the money for his cremation.YOu cant owe an undertaker money in washington...it doesnt look good for business.The credit union closed out his account and his brothers and sister got it.It was 800.00 a piece and they need it for the bill.In washington...only a licensed driver can sell a car.She is waiting for the title and when that comes...the family is selling the cars on E Bay and hope it will raise the 2600.00 that is due.I am glad that I saved that avacation money.It took me 3 years to save..but something told me not to go to go on this vacation.I dont mind spending the summer in washington.We have fantastic things in July..I am going to see my favorite singer on the 16th of July..which I planned since Feb when I read about his tour and the tickets.On the 17th-19th...Seattle has a bite of seattle.It has 50 or more restauarants under one roof and the event is free.I go every year and this year is going to be fantastic.A man from  Louisiana is coming to seattle for the bite and he has a Louisiana dish..it is called crawfish.crawfish was featured in the Elvis Presley movie.."King Creole." and it is served over rice and the rice is called dirty rice.I love cajun food.I tried sushie the other night and i didnt like it.In fact,sushi made me sick so I am a bit under the weather.I feel a bit better.Today in seattle we are having thunderstorms and it feels so much cooler.On the 25th in seattle..I will return to my old neighborhood..The Ballard seafeast and it is free and fabulous.I can get a salmon dinner for 7.00 and the salmon is out of this world.Brad never liked to go to these festivals.he didnt like crowds and that was the sheer end of him..he wasnt social and didnt like people.Brad couldnt understand why his first girlfriend left him.But the fact is this..she didnt love him anymore and she was a very good pianist.Brad wanted a wife to be at home...and this shows that he was behind the times.This girl was offered a scholarship to the Julliard School of Music.And he didnt understand that you have to be good to be offered a scholoarship.They dont take anybody.This was the opportunity of a lifetime and if I had a daughter I will tell her boyfriend that she has got a right to a career and raising a family today is personal choice and if you dont like it...leave find someone else who wants this..but when a woman is 40 and the kids have left and she has given up a chance of a promising career..what does she have? NOTHING.I refuse to have nothing at 61 because you dont like music..in fact if you dont like the things that I do...LEAVE AND STAY AWAY FROM ME AND DONT EVEN ASK ME FOR MONEY..YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO MAKE MORE THEN ME AND IT IS UP TO YOU TO HAVE A FEW BUCKS.DONT ASK ME TO OPEN A JOINT ACCOUNT BECAUSE i WONT DO IT AND IF YOU ASKED ME..I WILL LEAVE YOU THERE AND I WONT BE BACK.