Truth vs. Lie

Truth:  I am up again at 3 a.m. unable to sleep.  I remember that night telling myself that I was strong.  Well, when someone I knew told me that I am a strong person, it made me feel good.  I didn't feel strong the night of the rape despite telling him, "No!" multiple times, and him not respecting me as well as drugging me. Lie:  He kept manipulating me to get me in bed with him, and from being drugged up.  I gave into him due to not thinking correctly from the date rape drug.  He said that "this is our little secret," "You can spend eternity with me in Hell, instead of telling God," and another example, "Your boyfriend doesn't need to know what is going on, it is between you and me."   Am I strong for putting up with his crap?  I have put up with living next to him now for over 2 years.  I guess I am strong, but still feel so weak.  How can he even sleep at night?  I long for Jesus to be back, so that he will face judgement for what he did to me, and so many other women.  I hate him!!!!