truths

Here is my..... epiphany of the day
Its not the relationship or the person in it that is making me miserable and uneasy.
It is not her ,  what she does,  what she doesnt do, what she thinks or dont think.
Its not what she feels that is right and ok, its not her lack of consideration or lack of interest.
 
It is my insecurities, my lack of self worth, my mistaken core beliefs about myself.
My jealousy, my distorted safety mechanisms. My need of validity.
These are the things that are making me unhappy.
 
These are very uncomfortable truths, but are truths nonetheles.
Being in this relationship has shown the faces of what uneases me.
This i am grateful for. This i feel is a gift.
 
This is all part of my recovery process. I am not where i was. I also am not where i want to be.
We are on our way.....theres alot more to work on.
This is not backsliding......this is progress.