Trust is Everything

Yesterday, I did the right thing, and told my family (who already knew I was addicted to gambling, but they thought I had stopped) that I was yet, still gambling.  I lost my husband's trust, I hurt him and my daughter, and it was the hardest day ever.  My heart just ached...and amount of money lost did not ever make me as sick as I felt yesterday.  The good news is, that today, I had absolutely no urge to gamble again.  I have a new goal in my life...to earn back my loved ones trust, and to never hurt them again.  Today was a good day, I feel refocused, and on the right path.  I told my husband I think it was the fear of telling him that I had messed up, again and again, that kept me going back, thinking I could "win" it back, and then I wouldn't have to tell him.  Now that I have told him, there is no reason to try to win anything back...its all about earning it.  Earning back trust, and finding an extra part time job to help earn back what I have lost.  I'm not counting "Days" I'm counting "Trust Days".