True Tolerance
This just felt like something important to keep in my journal where I will hopefully never lose it the sharing like a meeting yet we are all 3 of us each 1000 miles away from each other. Gotta love this information highway and connection without having to be in the same space-time continuum.... Love you guys so much.... thanks for keeping me sober tonite because you checked in for your own recovery today I and who knows how many more stayed sober.... Yep, Yep, Yep....
"Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and then we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means. It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up. Such a radical change in our outlook will take time, maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the remainder--well, we have really disliked or hated them. Although these attitudes are common enough, we A.A.'s find we need something much better in order to keep our balance. We can't stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time." Pariah posted this last year, and I marked it in my 12x12 (page 92). Tolerance took quite a bit of practice for me, and I learned much by watching those who showed me kindness, respect and patience when i was anything but. Posted on 09/21/10, 07:36 am
Hmm!! I really thought That love was the answer , then as I became more aware of My fellowman , then it became more real. Ha!!! but with that came my understanding of "why" with alot of that coming in step's 4 - 12 , therapy work and being able to sense my misgivings towards others and owning it. Without having to put them out of heart. Then I was able to see more clearly. I always like the saying "It's a journey not a Destination":) good post, Billy
Geeezzzz Uncle Billy....... I guess It's my expectations as usual but your reply is a lot to live up to....I think, feel, I live up to it pretty well. I guess some of my outside issues like being an A.C.O.A. and an ALANON along with my own Alcoholism although at times makes it difficult to know where the boundaries are and when the loyalty is a bit over board..... and knowing what I truly want for myself in my life and knowing I am worth those things, those values... God I really thought I would be weller than this after all these years in recovery.... not to diminish what work I've done or the miracles God has produced in my life and recovery where he has seemingly made time and space not an issue.... I am tired tonight.... can ya tell??? It's been quite a stress full weekend and week before. I hope my out look will be brighter tomorrow.... maybe all I need is a prayer and sleep...... We must die to one life, before we can enter another.... all change has it's melancholy, for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves. I remember well the grief of saying goodbye to my best friend, who got me through some very horrific life experiences which traumatized me badly. I am still recovering from them 35 years later and 20 plus years into recovery. It is hard not to beat yourself up at times when it's been so long ago and so much recovery work has been done. I guess issues of the heart ..... love just like grief knows no real time or space... it goes so very deeply that we would have to carve a piece of our selves from ourself to rid of it and then the phantom limb is still there ... experiencing the pain of the past and we cannot will it away..... Life is a serious experience but I know there is more ... much more than the pain of recovery.... just on the otherside... if we are brave and go right through the middle of it all ... we find a bright sun shinning day with joy and more love and happiness than we can imagine in the moment. It is true.... the only real way to the other side is through. I am happy I have had such an event full life. I know the joys and the sorrows and I know their values from the contrast from each other, as we know the light from the dark and joy from the sorrow. Wow am I just full of it tonight er what!!??!! I know all the work is worth it and it must continue for a lifetime. And, as my favorite BB story says. "We do not, cannot out-grow this plan. As arrested alcoholics, we must have a program for living which allows for limitless expansion." "We do become grateful for the necessity that makes us toe the line," "There is no more, "aloneness," "Now there is a sense of belonging, of being wanted, and needed and loved." "In return for a bottle and a hangover, we have been given the Keys of the Kingdom." The hard part becomes easier with time. My sponsor said, " Time Takes Time." The key part( Was the hard part, now is easier) of what you replied Uncle Billy is, " Without having to put them out of heart"' Thank God it's the journey not the destination, or we all would have arrived all ready and it'd be over with. In Love Light Truth & Service Stubborn TerrieAnn
"Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and then we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means. It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up. Such a radical change in our outlook will take time, maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the remainder--well, we have really disliked or hated them. Although these attitudes are common enough, we A.A.'s find we need something much better in order to keep our balance. We can't stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time." Pariah posted this last year, and I marked it in my 12x12 (page 92). Tolerance took quite a bit of practice for me, and I learned much by watching those who showed me kindness, respect and patience when i was anything but. Posted on 09/21/10, 07:36 am
Hmm!! I really thought That love was the answer , then as I became more aware of My fellowman , then it became more real. Ha!!! but with that came my understanding of "why" with alot of that coming in step's 4 - 12 , therapy work and being able to sense my misgivings towards others and owning it. Without having to put them out of heart. Then I was able to see more clearly. I always like the saying "It's a journey not a Destination":) good post, Billy
Geeezzzz Uncle Billy....... I guess It's my expectations as usual but your reply is a lot to live up to....I think, feel, I live up to it pretty well. I guess some of my outside issues like being an A.C.O.A. and an ALANON along with my own Alcoholism although at times makes it difficult to know where the boundaries are and when the loyalty is a bit over board..... and knowing what I truly want for myself in my life and knowing I am worth those things, those values... God I really thought I would be weller than this after all these years in recovery.... not to diminish what work I've done or the miracles God has produced in my life and recovery where he has seemingly made time and space not an issue.... I am tired tonight.... can ya tell??? It's been quite a stress full weekend and week before. I hope my out look will be brighter tomorrow.... maybe all I need is a prayer and sleep...... We must die to one life, before we can enter another.... all change has it's melancholy, for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves. I remember well the grief of saying goodbye to my best friend, who got me through some very horrific life experiences which traumatized me badly. I am still recovering from them 35 years later and 20 plus years into recovery. It is hard not to beat yourself up at times when it's been so long ago and so much recovery work has been done. I guess issues of the heart ..... love just like grief knows no real time or space... it goes so very deeply that we would have to carve a piece of our selves from ourself to rid of it and then the phantom limb is still there ... experiencing the pain of the past and we cannot will it away..... Life is a serious experience but I know there is more ... much more than the pain of recovery.... just on the otherside... if we are brave and go right through the middle of it all ... we find a bright sun shinning day with joy and more love and happiness than we can imagine in the moment. It is true.... the only real way to the other side is through. I am happy I have had such an event full life. I know the joys and the sorrows and I know their values from the contrast from each other, as we know the light from the dark and joy from the sorrow. Wow am I just full of it tonight er what!!??!! I know all the work is worth it and it must continue for a lifetime. And, as my favorite BB story says. "We do not, cannot out-grow this plan. As arrested alcoholics, we must have a program for living which allows for limitless expansion." "We do become grateful for the necessity that makes us toe the line," "There is no more, "aloneness," "Now there is a sense of belonging, of being wanted, and needed and loved." "In return for a bottle and a hangover, we have been given the Keys of the Kingdom." The hard part becomes easier with time. My sponsor said, " Time Takes Time." The key part( Was the hard part, now is easier) of what you replied Uncle Billy is, " Without having to put them out of heart"' Thank God it's the journey not the destination, or we all would have arrived all ready and it'd be over with. In Love Light Truth & Service Stubborn TerrieAnn
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