Trophy Conditioning
A month or three ago, I woke from a dream I couldn't remember with a BOLD CAP recollection of the phrase, "Trophy Conditioning."
Normal for me. Sorta. My dreams and conscious worlds mix with unpredictable certainties. Sometimes I remember dreams with Film Industry precision. More often just an element or three ride with me to waking consciousness until they settle back into the mysterious ether from whence they came. Sometimes those settled elements continue popping up, seemingly of their own accord.
When I woke with that phrase bold in my mind, I had no clue what it meant. Still don't, beyond the clues that it has popped up again and again, each and every time my husband and I have grappled with our competitive dysfunction we have come to call, "Going tit for tat?"
Any bad you can feel, I feel badder.
Anything you can say, I can say better.
Any triumph you can claim, I can top.
Any experience you can have, I can have stronger. Especially if I wasn't there for the event.
It is a word game which turns any dialogue into a verbal competition. My husband and I have come a long way in dealing with it. We still have the leading habits, but we are catching it faster and faster. I still don't know what "Trophy Conditioning" means, but it pops out of my sub-conscious ether every time we catch ourselves.
The other place it has popped up is when my 2 year old dog is working over hard to be a good dog and sits trembling in denial of her body's needs (e.g. Hunger) rather than risk dis-pleasing someone.
Normal for me. Sorta. My dreams and conscious worlds mix with unpredictable certainties. Sometimes I remember dreams with Film Industry precision. More often just an element or three ride with me to waking consciousness until they settle back into the mysterious ether from whence they came. Sometimes those settled elements continue popping up, seemingly of their own accord.
When I woke with that phrase bold in my mind, I had no clue what it meant. Still don't, beyond the clues that it has popped up again and again, each and every time my husband and I have grappled with our competitive dysfunction we have come to call, "Going tit for tat?"
Any bad you can feel, I feel badder.
Anything you can say, I can say better.
Any triumph you can claim, I can top.
Any experience you can have, I can have stronger. Especially if I wasn't there for the event.
It is a word game which turns any dialogue into a verbal competition. My husband and I have come a long way in dealing with it. We still have the leading habits, but we are catching it faster and faster. I still don't know what "Trophy Conditioning" means, but it pops out of my sub-conscious ether every time we catch ourselves.
The other place it has popped up is when my 2 year old dog is working over hard to be a good dog and sits trembling in denial of her body's needs (e.g. Hunger) rather than risk dis-pleasing someone.
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