Trip to the clerk's office

Last night I could not get to sleep.  I must have been worried about going to the courthouse to register the will.  The lawyer said that it was normal for spouses to be upset about this because it was one of the last things which needed to be done and so it made the death seem final, if you understand what I mean. Actually, it was OK.  The clerk, the lawyer, and I talked about folks we knew in common and all I had to do was sign my name three times.  It was something like when your dentist talks about all sorts of things to take your mind off what he's doing. I wonder if tonight I'll sleep any better.  Hope so.  
Tonight I'm driving over to the other side of the county to have dinner with two lady friends of mine.  Not excited to go but I don't want to be rude when someone is just trying to be nice to me.  Also, I am trying not to let myself curl up in my house and never go out. As an introverted person, it would be so easy to do.  In fact, my husband warned me about it before he died.  He was worried that I would drop out of everything and just sit.  Soooo, I'm making myself do some things I'm not wanting to do.
Also, finished The Tender Scar.  One thing that I read which was really comforting was a reminder that when we are so upset that our loved one didn't get to see or do something we should remember that we are more likely upset that we aren't going to be able to experience it with them.  If we believe in Heaven, then we know that our spouse is now experiencing something much more wonderful than anything on Earth.  This makes me not as unhappy when I see Spring deepening and remember how much my husband wanted it to get warm so that he could enjoy sitting out on the patio in the sun.  It was really ruining my appreciation of the season until I read this. Now I don't feel so guilty about enjoying the flowers myself.