trigger from e's mother dying - ended up with venting/recalling c. about time really
i like the obit they wrote for e's mother, except that they list all the children but leave out ALLLL the names of the spouses. i have never seen anyone do that before. wth? with c's obit, they listed 3 out of 4 of her husbands - her present husband, the one before that who's name she was still using, and the one before that who is the father of her son that she raised. they only left out her husband from her late teens (and also the child from that husband, who is alive and the child before that who may or may not be alyson weinberg - dob 1971 - c had just turned 15 when she was born. c had already been raped and molested more times than anyone can calculate, by her parents, and her mother would forever then call c a "whore" and worse than that and get really explicit and disgusting - potty mouthed.
c's parents - both of them were sexual deviants as well as religious hypocrites, but you would NEVER guess it if you met them or saw photos of them as a family. the "whore" in that house was her parents. wonder how many houses are like that? (i haven't written about alyson weinberg on here yet. hope you're okay). people and their complicated lives, even when it appears to be so much smaller, it never is. c's mother had killed a "dozen" infants before c was born. and after alyson was born of c in 1971, her mother would smirk and murmur audibly and laugh, a baker's dozen (which is 13, instead of 12 and c knowing exactly what that meant, would burst into tears and freak out, which would give her mother a "reason" to go after her again, sometimes just beating her up, punching and kicking her and sometimes much more deviant and disgusting. her mother would actually urge her husband to rape c and if he did, it gave c's mother a reason to also go after her, though to be honest, c's mother might do that either way. she enjoyed egging her husband on. what the hell is that? its so sick, you can't ever really wrap your head around it. totally sick). what is sicker is that c's mother was a college educated teacher and her husband was a vp for a bank. wth?! reminds me of facebook, everything looks perfect in photos, but the truth is anything but. you peel the onion on anything it always stinks. that is reality of life. its easier NOT to know, than to know, but don't want any of them too close either.
her mother wasn't supposed to have children because of all the killings (most people thought this meant still borns and miscarriages. it wasn't. before she married, her husband was warned that she kills babies. how common is that, because nowadays its all over the internet and you hear about it all the time. back then it was all covered up. it didn't phase him because he was as nuts as she was - it wasn't because he didn't understand what was being said to him. its amazing c and her sister survived living there.
i was friends with c's younger sister for most of early childhood. then you reach an age, where you almost understand what is what and its too scary to deal with, so then you are elsewhere - where its hopefully simpler, even if its actual work - as in getting some kind of a paid job part time after school (which is what you should be doing at that age anyway). just to no longer be anywhere near anything sordid and also feeling shocked that you were around anything sordid, but didn't really cmprehend what any of it was. you also become aware that there is a LOT of the crazy shit going on all around you, and you just never understood the words you were hearing or much of what you were seeing (or your brain wasn't letting you know what it is, as a way of protecting you).
c had a normal life when she stayed with her aunt on weekends and on school breaks and summers. her aunt had requested custody of c since she was five years old and the abuse began. the younger sister was abused as an infant (shaking), but not too much of it later on, except being exposed to the abuse of her older sister, and however much that exposure warps you (though anyone who was friends with either one of the sisters was exposed to it. since kids raised before 1990 spent most of their time outdoors, we were never around for most of the indoor abuse that seems to go on all over the place - not even spying on it. we were too turned off or scared to.
but when the younger sister found out new tidbits of what had happened before she and her sister were born, she would walk over to our house, knock on the door, always welcome - that had to make it easier - what are people supposed to do when there is nowhere to go? we'd go outside as though all was normal, just to play sport or climb trees. but the truth was we were going for a walk so she could relay what she just found out.
we'd play sport for a few hours after acknowledging the info, probably as a way to ease out of the traumatic revelation/information and feel normal again. or if it seemed noisy over there, it was like, want to sleep over? which think back, is not always that easy a thing to carry off because your parents have to say yes. or it may seem okay and then fifteen minutes later, she has her pj's with her and is at the front door and its like, now we just have to remind "them" (parents) we planned a sleep-over. shouldn't be any trouble anyway. we had a play room with a pull out sofa and/or 2 kids easily fit in a twin bed. but in the back of your head you are thinking what about c. you can call her aunt, but even that becomes a thing because its long distance and the aunt might mention we called.
we didn't really comprehend any of it very well, but we were trying to, without being caught trying to. it seemed like if we knew, or if the info became known in anyway, then somehow we were all guilty too. which makes no sense, but that is how it felt.
i always wanted to help c. invite her to go with us, or have an excuse to bring her along, but she was older than us, so there never seemed to be a way to do that, though i know i attempted helping her a couple of times which my friend viewed as putting her in danger. the evil steps viewed c as someone they could severely injure without doing much, i think they enjoyed her troubles and would want to make more trouble for her, which is sick and probably egged on by jealousy because c was better looking than them. they were also not at all friendly with her, though neither was i.
at least c had her 3 days every week and school breaks and summers, to be away from it/them, which probably kept c sane. some adults would know as well, which always amazed me and would mumble, it shouldn't go on at all. there was a lot of abuse back then. everywhere. very hush hush and covered up and sick. many people always re-victimizing victims instead of killing off predators which is how it should go, today as well.
what is really strange is as kids you actually "forget" all that totally, if things are calm for a while even if its just for one day - which would probably be a day when the perpetrator suspects they could be getting in trouble finally. the more a criminal gets away with committing crime, the worse they become, the more crime they will commit. the more abuse. the more bullying. they build up to becoming total psychopaths - though c's mother was always a psychopath to begin with, way before she and her sister left kentucky and moved to the north east "to attend high school and college" - on paper that is all it says, and to a stranger that is all they would say. the truth is way worse. c's mother should have been on death row in prison as a teenager. and c's aunt should have left for college WITHOUT c's mother - about once per year people would point this out to the aunt. also c's mother was so young when they moved, most of the babies she killed couldn't not have been her own.
c's parents - both of them were sexual deviants as well as religious hypocrites, but you would NEVER guess it if you met them or saw photos of them as a family. the "whore" in that house was her parents. wonder how many houses are like that? (i haven't written about alyson weinberg on here yet. hope you're okay). people and their complicated lives, even when it appears to be so much smaller, it never is. c's mother had killed a "dozen" infants before c was born. and after alyson was born of c in 1971, her mother would smirk and murmur audibly and laugh, a baker's dozen (which is 13, instead of 12 and c knowing exactly what that meant, would burst into tears and freak out, which would give her mother a "reason" to go after her again, sometimes just beating her up, punching and kicking her and sometimes much more deviant and disgusting. her mother would actually urge her husband to rape c and if he did, it gave c's mother a reason to also go after her, though to be honest, c's mother might do that either way. she enjoyed egging her husband on. what the hell is that? its so sick, you can't ever really wrap your head around it. totally sick). what is sicker is that c's mother was a college educated teacher and her husband was a vp for a bank. wth?! reminds me of facebook, everything looks perfect in photos, but the truth is anything but. you peel the onion on anything it always stinks. that is reality of life. its easier NOT to know, than to know, but don't want any of them too close either.
her mother wasn't supposed to have children because of all the killings (most people thought this meant still borns and miscarriages. it wasn't. before she married, her husband was warned that she kills babies. how common is that, because nowadays its all over the internet and you hear about it all the time. back then it was all covered up. it didn't phase him because he was as nuts as she was - it wasn't because he didn't understand what was being said to him. its amazing c and her sister survived living there.
i was friends with c's younger sister for most of early childhood. then you reach an age, where you almost understand what is what and its too scary to deal with, so then you are elsewhere - where its hopefully simpler, even if its actual work - as in getting some kind of a paid job part time after school (which is what you should be doing at that age anyway). just to no longer be anywhere near anything sordid and also feeling shocked that you were around anything sordid, but didn't really cmprehend what any of it was. you also become aware that there is a LOT of the crazy shit going on all around you, and you just never understood the words you were hearing or much of what you were seeing (or your brain wasn't letting you know what it is, as a way of protecting you).
c had a normal life when she stayed with her aunt on weekends and on school breaks and summers. her aunt had requested custody of c since she was five years old and the abuse began. the younger sister was abused as an infant (shaking), but not too much of it later on, except being exposed to the abuse of her older sister, and however much that exposure warps you (though anyone who was friends with either one of the sisters was exposed to it. since kids raised before 1990 spent most of their time outdoors, we were never around for most of the indoor abuse that seems to go on all over the place - not even spying on it. we were too turned off or scared to.
but when the younger sister found out new tidbits of what had happened before she and her sister were born, she would walk over to our house, knock on the door, always welcome - that had to make it easier - what are people supposed to do when there is nowhere to go? we'd go outside as though all was normal, just to play sport or climb trees. but the truth was we were going for a walk so she could relay what she just found out.
we'd play sport for a few hours after acknowledging the info, probably as a way to ease out of the traumatic revelation/information and feel normal again. or if it seemed noisy over there, it was like, want to sleep over? which think back, is not always that easy a thing to carry off because your parents have to say yes. or it may seem okay and then fifteen minutes later, she has her pj's with her and is at the front door and its like, now we just have to remind "them" (parents) we planned a sleep-over. shouldn't be any trouble anyway. we had a play room with a pull out sofa and/or 2 kids easily fit in a twin bed. but in the back of your head you are thinking what about c. you can call her aunt, but even that becomes a thing because its long distance and the aunt might mention we called.
we didn't really comprehend any of it very well, but we were trying to, without being caught trying to. it seemed like if we knew, or if the info became known in anyway, then somehow we were all guilty too. which makes no sense, but that is how it felt.
i always wanted to help c. invite her to go with us, or have an excuse to bring her along, but she was older than us, so there never seemed to be a way to do that, though i know i attempted helping her a couple of times which my friend viewed as putting her in danger. the evil steps viewed c as someone they could severely injure without doing much, i think they enjoyed her troubles and would want to make more trouble for her, which is sick and probably egged on by jealousy because c was better looking than them. they were also not at all friendly with her, though neither was i.
at least c had her 3 days every week and school breaks and summers, to be away from it/them, which probably kept c sane. some adults would know as well, which always amazed me and would mumble, it shouldn't go on at all. there was a lot of abuse back then. everywhere. very hush hush and covered up and sick. many people always re-victimizing victims instead of killing off predators which is how it should go, today as well.
what is really strange is as kids you actually "forget" all that totally, if things are calm for a while even if its just for one day - which would probably be a day when the perpetrator suspects they could be getting in trouble finally. the more a criminal gets away with committing crime, the worse they become, the more crime they will commit. the more abuse. the more bullying. they build up to becoming total psychopaths - though c's mother was always a psychopath to begin with, way before she and her sister left kentucky and moved to the north east "to attend high school and college" - on paper that is all it says, and to a stranger that is all they would say. the truth is way worse. c's mother should have been on death row in prison as a teenager. and c's aunt should have left for college WITHOUT c's mother - about once per year people would point this out to the aunt. also c's mother was so young when they moved, most of the babies she killed couldn't not have been her own.
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now i should add on here that the couple of times i tried to have c over to hide/sleep, the evil step father and his two eldest nephews went after her. and when they didn\'t the evil step and her brother would make calls to get her in trouble, so how can she be helped. we even called the fire department there once because calling her aunt often didn\'t work out and her aunt had to be at work in the morning. calling the police didn\'t work because the cops were corrupt in that town - have seen that in a LOT of towns since then and its a surprise every time. what a mess.