Trigger- Cals Mentioned

I am starting to feel the negative effects here. My "plan" has been 1000 cals a day. I haven't really considered it starving because I used to eat 300 a day and my metabolism was just shot. So I stopped losing. But now I'm losing weight pretty steadily.
 
Anyways, I am feeling anxious even getting up to 900 now. I have this stupid need to keep a "safe buffer" in case I nibble on something with calories I didn't account for. 
 
I am going to post a typical meal plan here, not to trigger anybody or brag about how happy I am that this is how I'm eating (believe me, I wish everyday I were "normal"), but rather to be held accountable and maybe help myself see more the reality here. I'm aware something is wrong but I'm still not too sure if it's it's as bad as people are making it seem. 
 
- breakfast: 20 cherries
- lunch: cup broccoli
- dinner: two soy nuggets, hard boiled egg, 1/2 cup peas
- snack: watermelon (it was a weird shape, I have no idea how many calories it was, it was probably the equivalent of 2-3 wedges. So a lot =\)
- 1 tsp peanut butter
- snack: skinny cow ice cream bar 
- snack for later: special K bar
 
I also burned off 650 on the treadmill. This amount of food should not make me this anxious. I am so pissed off at myself for being this dumb and useless. Also my brother has a mini boston creme pie that he is offering me. Boston Creme pie is my favorite dessert in the whole world and I can't even have any. 
I'm so exhausted.