Triggers
Despite working constantly to heal myselfof my past hurts sometimes I am triggered.When this happens I cry and I rage. Somethingmy husband did triggered me--I cannot tell if heis telling the truth or not. I struggled to stand upfor myself and demand that I be respected in myown home. I did not talk to him for two days I wasso angry. During that time I read my books on healingemotional pain and realized that the present situationhad triggered past hurt. My mother was barely availableto me because of her own mental illness and overwork,my dad was not available to me because of overwork andwas often cranky, overbearing and imtimidating. Things gotworst as I got older I remember being left alone with mysister for long periods of time as they worked to try to survive. This hurt me so much, I struggled to make sense of the world,basically alone and without support. My dad was terrified somethingwould happen to his girls so he was very overpretecting and freakedout with whatever I wanted to do. It helps to write this down and getit off my chest......
Replies
You do deserve respect! I am glad that you were able to find constructive outlets for your pain and are seeking to find peace. I was raised by my siblings because my parents worked all the time. My hubby is over protective because he was abused in his childhood. He is a very loving and fun Dad, but it\'s irritating to them that they can\'t go to the park alone like the other kids in the neighborhood. But he watches the scary things about kidnappings on the news and insists that we are with them. Huge hugs to you!!
Wow, that sounds like my childhood. A bit different with my mum, but my dad was way overprotective wouldn\'t let us go to sleepovers, school camps, out with friends. A very sheltered life. He\'s still an intimidating person. But that stuff just permeates everything else doesn\'t it, for a long time. It\'s so good though though that you\'ve recognised this, that what happened with your husband triggered past feelings and hurts. Reading and reflecting really helps at these times.
With love and friendship,
Emma xxoo
Important understanding here , universe. I say it like this...not getting needs met. I am pretty sure no person when a child got all of their needs met but if you felt invisible and controlled ( over protection) Ther is much more on the plate besides PTSD.
They can call it a disorder but since it is a certainly a way the mind can react and function due to trauma / abuse it does create it own norm for the possibilites of human states.
I have done tons of therapy and with that I know how to deal with the anxiety state once triggered. BUT that doesn\'t mean i know how to say the right things, respond to a situation where i feel my rights are being ignored. have also learned how to deal with this.
For me the first thing that has to happen is that I have to deal with the anxiety state. I do nothing until that is gone, out of my emotional operating system and I have grounded . Then i tell a person my boundaries as in what I do not like nor accept. Boundaries are non negotiable.
So when i am triggered ...I realize like you where it comes frm and how my brain is dealing with it...rage what ever and that is not the time I deal with the other person.
Next is the challenge to create boundaries. i have to practice this all the time. it is work for sure. Most important is that i do not deal with a situation with the compounded reaction in cycle. that doesn\'t work. Well, some times it does but usually and if I can i stop deal with trauma state then set boundaries. If the person doesn\'t respect the boundaries it might take more rounds wit it.
A good example for me is when my mother triggers me. i don\'t react when the iron gets hot but later i will prepare to say..stop. she doesn\'t just stop ... so the I always have to remind her. She is old and can not change so her lack of ability to respond to my non negotiable boundary is that I spend less time interacting with her.
Now a mate..if a mate can not seem to get the point it is time for more serious action.
What practice not allowing PTS reaction to do the talking. Peace (((hugs))) pageo
Issues from our childhood can still have an effect on us in adulthood. I have had issues with verbal abuse since childhood and it does a number on my self-esteem. One thing I believe Ida is that your childhood has made you a much stronger person now. I am so impressed by your ability to research ways of healing and then successfully apply it to your life. God bless you my friend. Take care:0)