triggers

I'm discovering more and more of my triggers that cause my behaviors. When people talk about losing weight, I immediately think that I have to out-do them. I'm a perfectionist and very competitive, and I think that spills over into my eating habits. I feel like I have to have the perfect body, and I feel like I have to be skinnier and healthier and have more "self-control" than everyone else. That's where the restricting and exercise comes in. Of course, then I end up binging later and that shows my total lack of self-control. I've done really well with not binging the last couple of days, but just today heard one of the people in a group of friends I was with talking about losing weight and how it was working for her. I immediately began thinking that now I have to lose weight too so that I can stay smaller than her. It's so frustrating because that's so wrong. If she wants to lose some weight that's good for her! I hate that I have these feelings because I really should be happy for other people's achievements.
I don't have the urge to binge right now, although I do feel like I have to go work out to "compensate" for what I ate today. I just want to be healthy!