Treading water & getting tired
If you have ever swam at the Jersey Shore you will know what I am talking about. Sometimes the undertow is so bad, they ban swimming in the ocean. You get out and look back at the beach and swim and swim and actually are pulled out farther. They tell you to swim parallel to the beach to get out from the undertow and then swim in. OMG, I feel like I am swimming and swimming and getting further away from that beach sometimes. I am really tired. Just a bad week this week. And thank God it isn't all bad. But I just wish, just for a little while, that someone would take care of me. That I could get a break sometimes. I feel so blah and unproductive. Work is stressful. David and Paul seem at each other's throats. David is failing school. Paul says he cannot deal with things anymore. He is self employed and barely working. I know I am a strong person but I am tired of always taking care of everyone else. This job doesn't help. People just want the moon. People are so picky and greedy. I go out to the house the next day and the agents and the customers are yelling at me. Why am I not out there NOW? I just feel like I am working hard and failing. It is very frustrating. Took Monday off, President's Day. Went with David and my mom to Baltimore Inner Harbor and the National Aquarium. Was a nice day. A little cold. But at times, David was a bummer. Even coming home, my mom was a bummer. I AM SURROUNDED BY BUMMERS! OMG, I so feel like smoking again! Paul and David got in a huge argument prior to leaving Monday. I felt so bad for David. He lies and argues back, which just pushes Paul's buttons. Then Paul says things that are just plain mean. Neither one of them knows when to shut up. Calgon take me away! I have been eating like crazy. Getting over a cold and just feeling lousy and not exercising. So I gained 1 1/2 lbs and need to stop this. I know this is all comfort eating and bingeing. I really have no friends and no life. Every one of my friends went through bitter divorces and then wrote me off. Completely stoppped calling me. I need a life away from my husband, son and job. I don't know where to start. When I went to that Viv Pickle Purse party at my sister in laws a month or so ago, WOW! I felt great. Just getting out and laughing and being around other people. So I am going to have to find something. I have to get back to my exercise. I know that is not helping. And I want to do other things like read books again. Things I like to do. Things for me. I am just no good to anyone if I am not good to myself. I just don't know how or where to start. And I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Replies
I think you have started by knowing you need to find yourself back. You just have to figure out how to do it. Perhaps if you reserved a 1/2 hour of time each day just for you. You may have to get creative as to how to accomplish this. But for your sanity you need it. The strongest word is NO! NO! NO! We women need to practice this word -- NO!
We are your friends. I am proud to call you a friend. Keep swimming - you will just get stronger and more powerful and we will be here to listen if you need to vent!
I totally agree, it\'s like we don\'t have that fun, happiness in our lives to keep on going. Where did all the fun go right? I think with the economy, more stresses in peoples lives, we all are suffering in some way. I agree with gettingbacktoLaura, keep swimming and I need to do the same. We will get thru this. I thank you for your support and thinking of me. Have a good weekend. I\'m planning on the gym SAT and Sun since hubby will be sleeping since working midnights, so that should snap me back into it. It\'s so hard and we just want to hide but that is the worse thing to do. I have not gotten on the scale, my pants were to big anyway so a few lbs would be ok but not right? I know I will bounce right back, it\'s just gonna take some time. When all hell breaks loose we are the ones that take the time away from us to deal with issues. Hang in there - Thanks again......