Treading water

Feeling a little better today. Came home last night and broke down to my husband. I think I just had a lot going on in my head and heart and needed to get it out. The combination of my fears about the cycle, and the frustration of a new cycle and the aggravation of the bills etc just got to me. Add to that the conversations you have with these “people”, you can only deal with someone telling you that what you’re going through isn’t medically necessary so long before you just lose it. I feel like telling them to go home to their daughter or niece and say that to them. You just know that those on the other line haven’t been touch by what we deal with, because if they had been there’s not way they could do it, they’d have to be soul-less. You couldn’t pay my mother enough to have her sit on the other side of that conversation and say those words. They act as if we’re having and eye lift or nose job, I think I’d get more respect if that was the case. It’s terrible and nothing we should have to deal with. I know we say it all the time but it just got to me. Even told him about my thoughts about adoption, to which he said very clearly that we were not giving in, but that he was concerned about how this affects me, and kept asking what he could do. Listen and hold was good, very good. Before I knew it the “heaviness” in my chest started to lift and I slept better last night too. This time off is good timing, I think I could throw some work burn out into the mix too so…Thank you SO much ladies, I don’t need to tell you how it helps to know you are there to lean on.