Transproblem

Hey everyone.I am 18 years old and i am trans.(ftm)I always knew from the childhood that there was something different with me.I hated dolls and make up and everything about girls stuffs.I liked football dress i played football with my brother all day i liked guns and everything.At the age of 15 I found out the right word for me.Transgender.I keep it to myself for a while then i decided to tell only to my father cz i thought he will accept me but i was wrong.He rejected me and told me not to talk about it never.So i fell in depression and i tried to kill myself and the suicide letter was found by my mother..of course i failed to kill myself so my family have spoken with me and i told them why i did it that.They were schoked out.My mum started crying..It was horrible.Now I am 18 years and still lonely.I dont have money to escape from my country cz in my counry i cant take hormones or these stuffs..I dont know what to do..If someone wants to talk with me write me on peterfoeva321@hotmail.com/ I would be very happy if i had people to tell how i feel.All the best to everyone.