Transfer tomorrow morning
So its my transfer day tomorrow. I have never felt more enormous in my life. I am so meh about tomorrow..I don't know, maybe its the book I am reading at the moment that is on my mind...the character suffering from infertility has been through countless transfers and cycles and is suffering a form of depression. She is bitter and cynical and refers to two groups of people...fertiles and the infertiles...if is just so depressing.
Anyway, I am at the point she has just had the beta for her last ever embryo...and I actually can't bring myself to read the rest of the book. It's only a side story but I just feel like if she is actually pregnant, it would be so unrealistic..and if she isn't...wel that's even more depressing...ugh.
Also, making the news over here at the moment is that IVF has been over prescribed and the chances of a female over 40 getting pregnant from her own eggs is really quite small..and that fertility clinics are falsely advertising their success rates. Ugh I should't have read it and I should just try and be positive and try and think about the fact that it worked for us once...what is to say that it won't work again?
I need to get out of my head and pull myself together. We have one amazing son already. We are so lucky. I don't have metastatic cancer..as far as I know..(actually haven't got those results back yet)but the cancer was only localised so it is very unlikely that it is metastatic. (God I hope I am not jinxing myself here!). SO really, I need to be grateful for everything I have already. Anything else from here will be a bonus. THis hasn't been the way I have been thinking lately but going to try and start thinknig like this from now.
Anyway, I am at the point she has just had the beta for her last ever embryo...and I actually can't bring myself to read the rest of the book. It's only a side story but I just feel like if she is actually pregnant, it would be so unrealistic..and if she isn't...wel that's even more depressing...ugh.
Also, making the news over here at the moment is that IVF has been over prescribed and the chances of a female over 40 getting pregnant from her own eggs is really quite small..and that fertility clinics are falsely advertising their success rates. Ugh I should't have read it and I should just try and be positive and try and think about the fact that it worked for us once...what is to say that it won't work again?
I need to get out of my head and pull myself together. We have one amazing son already. We are so lucky. I don't have metastatic cancer..as far as I know..(actually haven't got those results back yet)but the cancer was only localised so it is very unlikely that it is metastatic. (God I hope I am not jinxing myself here!). SO really, I need to be grateful for everything I have already. Anything else from here will be a bonus. THis hasn't been the way I have been thinking lately but going to try and start thinknig like this from now.
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