Tragic Loss & The Aftermath
On Thursday I got a call from my room mate when he got out of work. His oldest son died suddenly and he lives in NY state. My room mate, Mark, has turned into a very positive and most supportive friend so whatever he needs he knows I am here. These past few days have been hell for him. He always calls, texts, or Ims thanking me for being such a great friend.
I am anxious and nervous for him. My heart aches for his loss. I was going to go with him to NY for support, however, there was just too many reasons I couldn’t go especially since Mark may not have his part of the rent. I told him do not worry as I will take care of it he just needs to go and do what he needs to do. I even canceled my birthday party he was going to throw for me. He was super upset about that but it can wait.
Due to all this happening I’ve not been eating right. You see I handle half my rent and utilities. He handles his half and groceries/ supplies the house may need. When this all happened we were waiting for his payday to head to the grocery store. Don’t get me wrong I have food but its not the type of food I need to regulate my mood. All I have are the cheapie staples that I keep for the girls that I am nanny for quickie lunches here and there: cup o noodles, hot pockets, grilled cheese, French toast, chicken nuggets. OMG I need real food! Not this prepackaged crap that is making me feel sooooo icky! I am used to fresh fruit, salads, lean meats etc. To be honest I only feed the girls that once in a while when I am in a huge pinch. Other than that they get good balanced meals!
Because of not eating correctly and because of the stress I feel like I have gained a million pounds despite working out. That in return is more stress on top of stress. I feel like I am working out for nothing! Add to that I went on a mission to find the perfect bereavement craft to do for Mark on a very limited budget and failed miserably. That makes me all cranky.
Luckily for him the showing is today, funeral tomorrow and he will be back he says on Monday. I think it will be easier for him (if that can happen) to get the hard part over and come home to grieve where I can tend to him. I am so frustrated at all this because I wish I was there but couldn’t be. I had too much to take care of here in his absence. There is no way I coulda missed work considering at this point every penny I make keeps us a float. He feels horrible about that but I told him he needs to focus on his family and all this. Things will work out as they always do!
I feel like since Thursday when all this happened that every day drags on soooo slowly. Did I mention I have cabin fever too but its bitter cold out? *sighs* Its really hard to focus on the positive when my mind feels like mush, my body feels pump and there is so much to worry about. I am trying though.
Lets hope the next few days go a little faster.
Hope everyone is well!
<3 Rea
I am anxious and nervous for him. My heart aches for his loss. I was going to go with him to NY for support, however, there was just too many reasons I couldn’t go especially since Mark may not have his part of the rent. I told him do not worry as I will take care of it he just needs to go and do what he needs to do. I even canceled my birthday party he was going to throw for me. He was super upset about that but it can wait.
Due to all this happening I’ve not been eating right. You see I handle half my rent and utilities. He handles his half and groceries/ supplies the house may need. When this all happened we were waiting for his payday to head to the grocery store. Don’t get me wrong I have food but its not the type of food I need to regulate my mood. All I have are the cheapie staples that I keep for the girls that I am nanny for quickie lunches here and there: cup o noodles, hot pockets, grilled cheese, French toast, chicken nuggets. OMG I need real food! Not this prepackaged crap that is making me feel sooooo icky! I am used to fresh fruit, salads, lean meats etc. To be honest I only feed the girls that once in a while when I am in a huge pinch. Other than that they get good balanced meals!
Because of not eating correctly and because of the stress I feel like I have gained a million pounds despite working out. That in return is more stress on top of stress. I feel like I am working out for nothing! Add to that I went on a mission to find the perfect bereavement craft to do for Mark on a very limited budget and failed miserably. That makes me all cranky.
Luckily for him the showing is today, funeral tomorrow and he will be back he says on Monday. I think it will be easier for him (if that can happen) to get the hard part over and come home to grieve where I can tend to him. I am so frustrated at all this because I wish I was there but couldn’t be. I had too much to take care of here in his absence. There is no way I coulda missed work considering at this point every penny I make keeps us a float. He feels horrible about that but I told him he needs to focus on his family and all this. Things will work out as they always do!
I feel like since Thursday when all this happened that every day drags on soooo slowly. Did I mention I have cabin fever too but its bitter cold out? *sighs* Its really hard to focus on the positive when my mind feels like mush, my body feels pump and there is so much to worry about. I am trying though.
Lets hope the next few days go a little faster.
Hope everyone is well!
<3 Rea
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